UK censorship guide: Season 12

ACT 1
Homer listens to Bill & Marty on the radio

Bill: And traffic's all backed up, due to a mattress on the freeway.
Marty: A Mattress? Uh oh, Joan Collins must be in town.*
(Bill and Marty laugh, as Bill presses a button.)
Sound bite: Oh, behave!
(Homer laughs)
Homer: Joan Collins? That girl sleeps with everybody.
Marty: Okay. Time to give away free concert tickets.
Sound bite: What you talkin' bout?
Marty: What's we're talking about Gary... is The Who!
Bill: We're giving away tickets to next week's concert at Springfield's historic Yahoo Search Engine Arena!
Homer: The Who? I love bands!

* This line is dubbed over with them saying "hey hey", however, I have been unable to ascertain which episode this was taken from. As is quite typical of Sky, they did not cut the later line by Moe "We're getting the Joan Collins special," which doesn't really make much sense without the line they did cut.

ACT 1
Homer realises he didn't win the competition.

(Homer smashes his radio)
Homer: It's not fair! I've been a fan of The Who since the very beginning... when they were the Hillbilly Bugger Boys!
Bart: You should call that radio station and let 'em have it!
Homer: Good idea!
(he dials but the call cannot be connected; Bart laughs at him)
Homer: Why you little...
(Homer grabs the phone and starts choking Bart with the wire. Bart grabs the receiver and pounds Homer over the head with it. Eventually the two get tired and pass out.)
(Cut to Town Hall)

ACT 1
Kent Brockman reports on the gold found in Springfield river

Kent: With the money made from the gold, Olde Springfield was able to buy the "Evian" water factory and fly it over here from France.
(Homer groans)
Kent: Thanks, Mayor Simpson. Because of you, we're all taking golden showers.
(the staff in the studio laugh)
Kent: What?
Marge: We can't go on fighting with Olde Springfield.

ACT 1
Opening credits

For unknown reasons, C4 edited out all text from the opening sequence. The title (in blood) "Halloween Special XI" was removed, as were the spooky credits on the TV.

ACT 1
After Bart & Lisa escape the Three Bears' house

(Goldilocks wakes up, as she notices the three bears looming over her. She screams and runs to the door. She can't get out because Bart blocked the door at the other side with a chair. We see from outside, as the door handle rattles and the chair shakes. After a while, horrible slashing noises are heard, as blood trickles out from inside over the ground outside.)

ACT 1
Start of episode

(Episode opens to the Springfield Civic Centre.)
(A marquee reads "TOTALLY SICK, TWISTED, F***ED UP ANIMATION FESTIVAL")

ACT 3
After Homer is kicked out of the movie theatre

Homer: Is there no place for the man with the 105 IQ?
(Homer walks forward over a black-ground as signs fly behind him: "Smart People Not Welcome", "Dum-Dum Club", "Lunkheadz, A Place For Drooling" and then "Disney Store". Homer reaches the "Screaming Monkey Research Centre" and walks in.)

To make this less noticeable Sky held the music over the establishing shot of the research centre.

ACT 1
Lisa discovers her "Power Blue" crayon is missing

Lisa: Oh no! He wouldn't...
(Cut to Moe's.)
Moe: Tell me when I hit the sweet spot.
Homer: Deeper, you pusillanimous pilsner pusher!
(Moe gets out a small hammer and chisel and starts digging the crayon in with them.)