Aw, being a clown sucks. You get kicked by kids, bit by dogs, and admired by the elderly. Who am I clowning? I have no business being a clown! I’m leaving the clowning business to all the other clowns in the clowning business. — Homer

UK censorship guide: Season 10

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Treehouse of Horror IX (AABF01)

ACT 1
At the Kwik-E-Mart

Apu: You cannot smoke in here. The sign is clearly posted, sir.
(points to tiny 'No Smoking' sign surrounded by Laramie adverts)
Moe: (coughing) Oh God, you smokers disgust me. Hey 'pu, you got a breakfast cereal for people with syphilis?
(Wiggum busts into the store)

 Channel 4

ACT 1
Snake's death

The scene where Snake is electrocuted was shortened. After he harms everyone with his second-hand smoke it cuts to him dying then saying Dude!

Channel 4

ACT 3
Marge is 'seduced' aboard Rigel 7.

Kang: To put you at ease, we have recreated the most common spawning locations of your species. You may choose either the back seat of a Camaro, an airplane bathroom, a friend's wedding, or the alley behind a porno theatre.

Channel 4

ACT 3
Jerry Springer's final thought

Springer: What the *beep*?! Get the *beep* baby off *beep*! Son of a *beep*!
(Homer and Kang join in the brawl)

Channel 4