Email RSS Feed Twitter Feed Beer - now there’s a temporary solution.Homer

Simpsons song lyrics & music

One of my favourite elements of The Simpsons is the music, which always makes me smile. Here you can find the lyrics to every feature song, a capella ditty and alternate theme song, and listen to the MP3s as well. It's your own Simpsons karaoke machine!

Songs are ordered chronologically by episode. The list is condensed for quick browsing; click the audio icon to listen to a song and the lyrics icon to view the words.

Feature songs

Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer
Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire

All: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows
Bart: Like a light bulb!
Homer: Bart!

All: All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
Lisa: Like Schnozzola!
Homer: Lisa!

All: They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games
Bart: Like strip poker!
Homer: I'm warning you two!

All: Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
Marge: Take it Homer!

Homer: Err... Rudolph, get your nose over here
So you can guide my sleigh... today
Grampa: Oh, Homer...

All: Then all the reindeer loved him
And they shouted out with glee:
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
You'll go down in history!
Bart: Like Attila the H- ugh, urk!
Homer: You little... grrrr!

Bart's Marching Song
Bart the General

Bart: I got a B in arithmetic
Army: I got a B in arithmetic
Bart: Would have got an A but I was sick
Army: Would have got an A but I was sick.

Bart: We are rubber, you are glue
Army: We are rubber, you are glue
Bart: It bounces off of us and sticks to you
Army: It bounces off of us and sticks to you
Bart: Sound off
Army: One! Two!
Bart: Sound off!
Army: Three!! Four!!

Bart: In English class I did the best
Army: In English class I did the best
Bart: Because I cheated on the test
Army: Because I cheated on the test
Bart: Sound off
Army: One! Two!
Bart: I can't hear you!
Army: Three!! Four!!

Bart: We are happy, we are merry
Army: We are happy, we are merry
Bart: We got a rhyming dictionary
Army: We got a rhyming dictionary
Bart: Sound off
Army: One! Two!
Bart: One more time!
Army: Three! Four!
Bart: Bring it on home now!
Army: One! Two! Three! Four!
One! Two! ... Three-Four!

Second Grade Blues
Moaning Lisa

Murphy: Oh, I'm so lonely
Since my baby left me
I got no money
And nothing is free
Oh, I've been so alone
Since the day I was born
All I got is this rusty
This rusty old horn.

Lisa: I got a bratty brother
He bugs me everyday
And this morning my own mother
Gave my last cupcake away
My Dad acts like he belongs
He belongs in the zoo
I'm the saddest kid
In grade number two.

Second Grade Blues (reprise)
Moaning Lisa

Murphy: I got a bratty brother
He bugs me everyday
And this morning my own mother
Gave my last cupcake away
My Dad acts like he belongs
He belongs in the zoo
I'm the saddest kid
In grade number two.

Capitol City
Dancin' Homer

Tony Bennett: There's a swingin' town I know called... Capitol City
People stop and scream hello in... Capitol City
It's the kind of place that makes a bum feel like a king
And it makes a king feel like some nutty, cuckoo
super-king

It's against the law to frown in... Capitol City
You'll caper like a stupid clown when you chance to see...
Fourth Street and 'D'! Yeah!

Once you get a whiff of it, you'll never want to roam
From Capitol City, my home sweet, swingin' home!

Happy Birthday, Lisa
Stark Raving Dad

Michael Jackson: Lisa, it's your birthday
God bless you this day
You gave me the gift of a little sister
And I'm proud of you today.

Michael and Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday
Happy birthday, Lisa
Lisa, it's your birthday
Happy birthday, Lisa.

Michael: I wish you love and good will
I wish you peace and joy
Bart: I wish you better than your heart desires
Michael: And your first kiss from a boy.

Michael/Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday
Happy birthday, Lisa
Lisa, it's your birthday
Happy birthday, Lisa
Bart: Yeah!

Michael/Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday
Happy birthday, Lisa
Lisa, it's your birthday
Happy birthday, Lisa.

Michael: I wish you love and good will
I wish you peace and joy
Bart: I wish you better than your heart desires
Michael: And your first kiss from a boy
Michael/Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday
Happy birthday, Lisa
Lisa, it's your birthday
Happy birthday, Lisa.

Bart: Take it away, Lis
(Lisa does a saxophone solo)
Michael/Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday
(Lisa plays some more)
Michael/Bart: Happy birthday, Lisa.

Talkin' Softball
Homer At The Bat

Well Mr. Burns had done it
The power plant had won it
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while
Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile...

We're talkin' softball...
From Maine to San Diego
Talkin' softball...
Mattingly and Canseco
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law
We're talkin' Homer...
Ozzie and the Straw.

We're talkin' softball...
From Maine to San Diego
Talkin' softball...
Mattingly and Canseco
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law
We're talkin' Homer...
Ozzie and the Straw.

Flaming Moe's
Flaming Moe's

When the weight of the world has got you down
And you want to end your life
Bills to pay, a dead-end job
And problems with the wife.

But don't throw in the towel
'Cause there's a place right down the block
Where you can drink your misery away...

At Flaming Moe's
(Let's all go to Flaming Moe's...)
(Let's all go to Flaming Moe's...)
When liquor in a mug
Can warm you like a hug
(Flaming Moe's...)
And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away
Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away...

Your Wife Don't Understand You (But I Do)
Colonel Homer

Lurleen: You work all day, for some old man
Sweat and break your back
Then you go home to your castle
But your queen won't cut you slack.

That's why you're losin' all your hair
That's why you're overweight
That's why you flipped your pickup truck
Right off the interstate.

There's a lot of bull they hand you
There's nothin' you can do
Your wife don't understand you, but I do
I said your wife don't understand you, but I do!

Bagged Me A Homer
Colonel Homer

Lurleen: Oh the bases were empty on the diamond of my heart
When the coach called me up to the plate
I'd been swingin', and missin', and lovin', and kissin'
My average was point double eight.

So I spit on my hands, knock the dirt from my spikes
And pointed right toward center field
This time I'm hittin' a home run
This time love is for real.

I'll slide, I'll steal, I'll sacrifice
A lovin' fly for you
I've been slumpin' all season, but now I've found a reason
I struck on a love that is true.

I used to play the field
I used to be a roamer
But the season's turning 'round for me now
I finally bagged me a Homer
That's right, I finally bagged me a Homer.

Bunk With Me Tonight
Colonel Homer

Lurleen: In this trailer, I get so cold and lonely
Lying there awake at night, muttering if only
You weren't married, So I might ask you
To bunk with me tonight
Bunk with me tonight, oh, bunk with me tonight
I'm asking, will you bunk with me tonight.

Stand By Your Manager
Colonel Homer

Lurleen: His name is Homer, he's quite a man
I tried to kiss him, but Homer ran
Sure wish I could say, that I was his
I hope that Marge knows, just how lucky she is.

We're Sending Our Love Down the Well
Radio Bart

The singers include Troy McClure, BG Murphy, Quimby, Krusty, Sting, Sideshow Mel, McBain, and Dr. Marvin Monroe.
Sting: There's a hole in my heart
As deep as a well
For that poor little boy
Who's stuck halfway to Hell...

Sideshow Mel: Though we can't get him out
We'll do the next best thing
McBain: We go on TV and sing, sing, sing!
All: And we're sending our love down the well...
Krusty: All the way down!
All: We're sending our love down the well...
Krusty: Down that well!

Kamp Krusty Song
Kamp Krusty

Campers: Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty
By the shores of Big Snake Lake
Though your swings are rusty
We know they'll never break
Kearney: Louder! Faster!

Campers: From your gleaming mess hall
To your hallowed baseball field
Your spic n' span infirmary
Where all our wounds are healed
Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty
Below Mount Avalanche
We will always love Kamp Krusty
A registered trademark of the Krusty Corporation
All rights reserved!

Tribute to Mr. Burns
Marge Gets A Job

Smithers: There is a man
Chorus: There is a man!
Smithers: A certain man
Chorus: A certain man!
Smithers: A man whose grace
and handsome face
are known across the land.

You know his name
Chorus: You know his name!
Smithers: It's Mr. Burns
Chorus: It's Mr. Burns!
Smithers: He loves a smoke, enjoys a joke
Burns & Chorus: Ah ha ha ha!

Smithers: Why he's worth ten times what he earns
Chorus: He's Mr. Burns!
Burns: I'm Mr. Burns!
Smithers: He's Monty Burns!
Burns: I'm MR. Burns!
Smithers & Chorus: To friends he's known as Monty
but to you it's Mr. Burns!
Smithers: Bur-bur-bur-bur-Burns!
Burns: Burns!

Monorail!
Marge Vs. The Monorail

Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car Monorail! What'd I say?
Flanders: Monorail!
Lanley: What's it called?
Patty & Selma: Monorail!
Lanley: That's right! Monorail!
[crowd chants 'Monorail']

Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...
Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud
Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.

Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs
Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.

Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can
Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man
I swear it's Springfield's only choice
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Monorail!
Lanley: What's it called?
All: Monorail!
Lanley: Once again...
All: Monorail!

Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...
Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
All: Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!
[big finish] Monorail!
Homer: Mono... D'oh!

The Mediocre Presidents
I Love Lisa

All: We are the mediocre presidents
You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents!

There's Taylor, there's Tyler
There's Fillmore and there's Hayes
There's William Henry Harrison
Harrison: I died in thirty days!

All: We... are... the...
Adequate, forgettable
Occasionally regrettable
Caretaker presidents of the U-S-A!

It Was A Very Good Beer
Duffless

Homer: When I was seventeen
I drank some very good beer
I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was seventeen.

Union Strike Song
Last Exit To Springfield

Lisa: Come gather 'round children
It's high time ye learned
'Bout a hero named Homer
And a devil named Burns.

We'll march till we drop
The girls and the fellas
We'll fight till the death
Or else fold like umbrellas.

All: So we'll march day and night
By the big cooling tower
They have the plant
But we have the power.

Whacking Day Hymn
Whacking Day

Chorus: O whacking day, o whacking day
Our hallowed snake-skull cracking day.

Soprano: We'll break their backs, gouge out their eyes
Their evil hearts, we'll pulverise.

Chorus: O whacking day, o whacking day
May God bestow His grace on thee.

You're Gonna Like Me (Gabbo theme song)
Krusty Gets Kancelled

Gabbo: You're gonna like me
You're gonna love me
'Cause I can do most anything
I can do the hully gully
I can imitate Vin Scully!

(spoken)
Let's take time out from that triple play
for this message from Farmer Dan's Pure Pork
Sausages! Mmm, mmm...

I'll give out shiny dimes
I'll travel back in time!
Dolls: You're gonna like him
You're gonna love him
It's the greatest show in to-ow-ow-ow-own!
Gabbo!

Baby on Board
Homer's Barbershop Quartet

Be Sharps: Baby on board, how I adore
That sign on my car's windowpane
Bounce in my step
Loaded with pep
'Cause I'm drivin' in the carpool lane.

Call me a square
Friend, I don't care
That little yellow sign can't be ignored
I'm telling you it's mighty nice
Each trip's a trip to paradise
With my baby on board.

Springfield, Springfield!
Boy Scoutz N The Hood

Bart: OK, we're young, rich, and full of sugar. What do we do?
Milhouse: [yelling] Let's go crazy, Broadway style!
Both: Sringfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town:
The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down
The stray dogs go to the animal pound
Bart: Springfield, Springfield!
Milhouse: Springfield, Springfield!
Sailor: New York, New York!
Bart: New York is that-a-way, man!
Sailor: Thanks, kid!
Both: It's a hell of a town!

Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Homer and Apu

Apu: You see, whether igloo, hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome
There's no structure I have been to, which I'd rather call my home.

[music starts]

When I first arrived, you were all such jerks
But now I've come to looooooove your quirks
Maggie with her eyes so bright
Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright
Lisa can philosophise
Bart's adept at spinning lies
Homer's a delightful fella
Sorry 'bout the salmonella
Homer: Heh heh, that's OK.

Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Here comes the tricky part
Oh, won't you rhyme with me?

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Marge: Their floors are stick-E-Mart
Lisa: They made Dad sick-E-Mart
Bart: Let's hurl a brick-E-Mart
Homer: The Kwik-E-Mart is real... D'oh!

Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Not me...
Family: (Forget the Kwik-E-Mart
Goodbye to Kwik-E-Mart
Who needs the Kwik-E-mart?)
Apu: Not me!

A Chorus Line
Halloween Special V

All: One! chorus line of people
Dancing till they make us stop
Willie: Two!
All: Many dancing people
Covered with blood, gore and glop.

Just one sniff of that fog and you're inside out
It's worse than that flesh-eating virus you've read about
Vital organs, they are what we're dressed in
The family dog is eyeing Bart's intestine
Happy Halloween!

We Do! (Stonecutters theme song)
Homer The Great

All: Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!

Karl: Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Lenny: Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
Alien: We do! We do!

All: Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do! We do!

Skinner: Who robs cavefish of their sight?
Homer: Who rigs every Oscar night?
All: We do! We do!

See My Vest
Two Dozen and One Greyhounds

Burns: Some men hunt for sport, others hunt for food
The only thing I'm hunting for, is an outfit that looks good...

See my vest, see my vest
Made from real gorilla chest
Feel this sweater, there's no better than authentic Irish setter
See this hat, 'twas my cat
My evening wear - vampire bat
These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino.

Grizzly bear underwear
Turtle's necks, I've got my share
Beret of poodle, on my noodle it shall rest
Try my red robin suit
It comes one breast or two
See my vest, see my vest, see my vest.

Like my loafers? Former gophers
It was that or skin my chauffeurs
But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best
So let's prepare these dogs
Mrs. Potts: Kill two for matching clogs
Burns: See my vest, see my vest
Oh please, won't you see my vest
I really like the vest.

Jazz Man
'Round Springfield

Lisa: Lift me, won't you lift me
Above the old routine
Make it nice
Play it clean
Jazz Man...

When the Jazz Man's testifyin'
A fateless man believes
He can sing you into paradise
Or bring you to your knees.

(this is an extra verse added on over the credits)
Jazz man
Take my blues away
Make my fame the same as yours
With every game you play
Jazz man, oh Jazz Man
(Lisa & BG Murphy jam)

I'm An Amendment
The Day The Violence Died

Kid: Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?
Amendment: I'm not garbage
I'm an amendment-to-be, yes an amendment-to-be
And I'm hoping that they'll ratify me.

There's a lot of flag-burners
Who have got too much freedom
I want to make it legal
For policemen to beat'em.

'Cause there's limits to our liberties
At least I hope and pray that there are
'Cause those liberal freaks go too far.

Kid: But why can't we just make a law against flag-burning?
Amendment: Because that law would be unconstitutional
But if we changed the Constitution...
Kid: Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!
Amendment: Now you're catching on!
Kid: What if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?

Amendment: Then I'll crush all opposition to me
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay
If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay.

Congressman: Good news, Amendment! They ratified ya!
You're in the US Constitution!
Amendment: Oh yeah! Doors open boys!

Dr. Zaius
A Fish Called Selma

Chimpanzee 1: Help! The human's about to escape
Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!
Chimpanzee 2: (gasp) He can talk!
Orangutans: He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
Troy: And I can sing!
Chimp Nurse: Oooh! Help me, Dr. Zaius!

Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
O, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Troy: What's wrong with me?
Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy
Troy: I want a second opinion
Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy.

Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
O, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Troy: Can I play the piano any more?
Dr. Zaius: Of course you can!
Troy: Well I couldn't before
(plays piano)

Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Scorpio
You Only Move Twice

Scorpio!
He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth
Beware of Scorpio!

His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health
He'll welcome you into his lair
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!

But beware of his generous pensions
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
He loves German beer!

The Spring In Springfield
Bart After Dark

Homer: You could close down Moe's
Or the Kwik-E-Mart
And nobody would care
But the heart and soul
Of Springfield's in
Our Maison Derriere!

Belle: We're the sauce on your steak
We're the cheese in your cake
We put the spring in Springfield
Dancing Girl 1: We're the lace on the nightgown
Dancing Girl 2: The point after touchdown
Belle and Dancing Girls: Yes we put the spring in Springfield.

Belle: We're that little extra spice
That makes existence extra-nice
A giddy little thrill
At a reasonable price
Lovejoy: Our only major quarrel's
With your total lack of morals
Dancing Girl 3: Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad
Dancing Girl 4: They seem to entertain your dad!

Belle and Dancing Girls: The gin in your martini
The clams on your linguine
Yes we keep the
(Belle flicks Bumblebee Man's antenna)
In Springfield!

Wiggum, Krusty, and Skinner: We remember our first visit
Quimby: The service was exquisite!
Mrs Quimby: Why Joseph, I had no idea!
Quimby: Come on now, you were working here!
Grampa and Jasper: Without it we'd have had no fun
Since March of 1961!
Bart: To shut it down now would be twisted
Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney: We just heard this place existed!

Dancing Girls: We're the highlights in your hairdo
Apu: The extra arms on Vishnu
Dancing Girls: So don't take the
(Barney opens a Krusty-in-the-box)
All: We won't take the
(Sideshow Mel blows on his slide-whistle)
All: Yes let's keep the
(Moe crashes two garbage can lids together)
All: In Springfield!
(Krusty hits his face with a pie, Willy accidentally hits Lenny in the head with a sledgehammer, Wiggum and the Comic Book Guy bounce their bellies together, Burns honks the horn on his antique car, Captain McCallister reels in a fish, and Barney burps.)

Minimum Wage Nanny
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious

Lisa: If you wish to be our sitter
Please be sweet and never bitter
Help us with math and book reports
Bart: Might I add - eat my shorts!
Lisa: Bart!
Bart: Just cuttin' through the treacle.

Lisa: If Maggie's fussy, don't avoid her
Bart: Let me get away with moider!
Lisa: Teach us songs and magic tricks
Homer: Might I add - no fat chicks!
Marge: Homer!

Lisa: The nanny we want is kindly and sage
Homer: And one who will work for minimum wage
Lisa: Hurry nanny, things are grim
Grampa: I'll do it!
Bart & Lisa: Anyone but him.

Cut Every Corner
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious

Shary: If there's a task that must be done
Don't turn your tail and run
Don't pout, don't sob
Just do a half-assed job!

If... you... cut every corner
It is really not so bad
Everybody does it
Even mom and dad
If nobody sees it
Then nobody gets mad
Bart: It's the American way!

Shary: The policeman on the beat
Needs some time to rest his feet
Wiggum: Fighting crime is not my cup of tea!
Shary: And the clerk who runs the store
Can charge a little more
For meat!
Apu: For meat!
Shary: And milk!
Apu: And milk!
Both: From 1984!

Shary: If... you... cut every corner
You'll have more time for play
All: It's the American way!

A Boozehound Named Barney
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious

Shary: In front of a tavern
Flat on his face
A boozehound named Barney
Is pleading his case.

Barney: Buy me a beer
Two bucks a glass
Come on, help me
I'm freezing my ass.

Buy me brandy
A snifter of wine
Who am I kidding?
I'll drink turpentine.

Moe: Move it, ya drunk
Or I'll blast your rear end
Barney: I found two bucks!
Moe: Then come in, my friend!

Shary: And so, let us leave
On this heartwarming scene
Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
Homer: Not till you're fifteen.

Happy Just The Way We Are
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious

Homer: Around the house, I never lift a finger
As a husband and a father, I'm sub-par
I'd rather drink a beer
Than win father of the year
I'm happy with things the way they are.

Lisa: I'm getting used to never getting noticed
Bart: I'm stuck here till I can steal a car
Marge: The house is still a mess
And I'm going bald from stress
Bart, Marge, & Lisa: But we're happy, just the way we are.

Flanders: They're not perfect
But the Lord says "Love thy neighbour."
Homer: Shut up, Flanders
Flanders: Okely-dokely-do
Shary: Don't think it's sour grapes
But you're all a bunch of apes
And so I must be leaving you!

The Garbage Man Can
Trash Of The Titans

Homer: Who can take your trash out?
Stomp it down for you?
Shake the plastic bag and do the twisty-thingy too?
The Garbage Man!

Trash Men: Yes the Garbage Man Can!
Homer & Trash Men: The Garbage Man can
And he does it with a smile
And never judges you.

Marge: Who can take this diaper?
Trash Man: I don't mind at all!
Wiggum: Who can clean me up before the big policeman's ball?
The Garbage Man!
Trash Men: Yes the Garbage Man can.

U2: The sanitation folks
Are jolly friendly blokes
Courteous and easy-going
U2 & Trash Men: They'll mop up when you're over flowin'!
Bono: And tell you when your arse is showin'!

Apu: Who can?
Sideshow Mel: Who can?
Flanders: Who can?
Oscar: Who can?

All: The Garbage Man can!
Bart and Lisa: Coz he's Homer Simpson, man!
All: He cleans the world....for....you!

Canyonero
The Last Temptation of Krust

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five.
Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!
Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!

The Federal Highway commission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving
Canyonero!

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide
65 tons of American Pride!
Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!
Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams
She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!
Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!
Woah Canyonero!
Woah!

Those Were The Days
Lisa's Sax

Homer: Oy, the way the Bee Gee's played
Marge: Movies John Travolta made
Homer: Guessing how much Elvis weighed
Homer & Marge: Those were the days!

Marge: And you knew where you were then
Homer: Watching shows like "Gentle Ben"
Homer & Marge: Mister, we could use a man like Sheriff Lobo again!

Homer: Disco Duck and Fleetwood Mac
Marge: Coming out of my eight-track
Homer & Marge: Michael Jackson still was black, those were the days!

[later]

Homer: Bart was feeling mighty blue
Marge: It's a shame what school can do
Apu: For no reason, here's Apu
All: Those were the days!

All Singing, All Dancing
All Singing, All Dancing

Lisa: You like musicals don't you dad?
Homer: No, I don't, I think they're bad
They're fake and phony and totally wrong
Bart: Wake up dad, you're singing a song
Homer: I wouldn't, I couldn't, I hate that stuff
Marge: Now Homer, listen, I've had enough
In our family videos we have clearly seen
you're a singing, dancing, entertainment machine.

[clips]

Bart: Mom was right, your singing's a sin
You're as les misérable as Lee Marvin
Marge: Sure your dad's singing could make your hair curl
but you too Bart have sung and danced like a girl
Bart: Eep.

[clips]

Lisa: That was pretty bad Bart, but it could have been worse
you could have been carrying a sequined verse
Bart: I hate to dance, and prance and sing
That's really more of a Milhouse thing
Marge: I think you move like a young Baryshnikov
Snake: Nobody move, or I'll blow your heads off
All: Ohh
Snake: Ohh.

Marge: It's a desperate criminal on the run from the law
please spare my children
Homer: And their damp-trousered pa
Snake: A singing family, it's worse than I feared
for hostage purposes, you're just too weird. Bye!
Homer: See? All this singing scared him away
if we just talked like normal he'd probably stay
Lisa: Many people in this town sing like we do
There's Mr. Burns, there's Krusty, and even Apu.

[clips]

Lisa: Because he was singing, we overheard his plan
and could save those dogs from that mean old man
Bart: It still wasn't worth, Burns, a song and dance
Snake: I'm back so resume, wetting your pants
Homer: Okay
Snake: Because of you all I've got a tune in my head
and the only way to stop it is to make you all dead
Say your prayers, and then it's kablamo
Uh-oh, I'll be back when I get some ammo. Bye!

Homer: Even the criminals are beginning to croon
Marge: Homey, this whole town runs on a tune
Our churches, our clubs, our government too
Bart: Springfield swings like a pendulum do
Lisa: We can't even get any local laws passed
without everyone singing... like a big broadway cast.

[clips]

Homer: All right Marge
you've convinced me
there are more terrible things
than musical comedies where everyone sings
Lisa: There is something worse
Bart: And it really does blow
All: When a long running series does a cheesy clip show!
Snake: I'm back to commit phelonious assault
because your infernal singing, just would not halt.

Kids! Adults!
Wild Barts Can't Be Broken

Kids: Adults!
Adults: Kids!
Kids: Adults!
Adults: Kids!
Kids: Adults!

Lovejoy: Kids! You've had your fun, now we've had our fill
Homer: Yeah! You're only here 'cause Marge forgot her pill
Wiggum: Kids, you're all just scandalizing, vandalizing punks
Krusty: Channel-hopping, Ritalin-popping monkeys!
Please don't quit the fan-club!
Marge: Kids! I can nag and nag 'til my hair turns blue!
Edna: Kids! You bum my smokes and don't say 'thank you'!
Rod & Todd: Why can't you be like we are?
Adults: Oh, what a bunch of brats!
Moe: We oughta drown you just like cats!

Bart: Adults! You run our lives like you're Colonel Klink!
Nelson: Adults! You strut around like your farts don't stink!
Lisa: Adults! You're such a drooling, boring, boozing, boring bunch
Surly, meany, three-martini lunchers
Ralph: I just ate a thumbtack!
Milhouse: Adults! They're always telling us to--

Abe: --shut your traps!
Jasper: Eh ... we're fed up with all you whipper-snaps!
Oldies: We're tryin' to get some sleep here, it's almost six-fifteen!
What's the matter with ...
Adults: Don't you treat us like ...
Kids: Can't you just lay off ...
Oldies: We're sick of all of you!
All: Kids... toooo... day!

Testify!
Faith Off

Bart: I was a sinner, a real bad kid
What thou shalt not, I shalt did
Neighbors cat I tried to neuter
took a whizz on the school computer
Sherri & Terri: He took a whizz, oh yes he did!

Bart: But now I've changed, you can't deny
come on up - and testify!
Sherri & Terri: Testify! Testify! Come on up and testify!
Abe: My hip's misbehavin'!
Sherri & Terri: Testify!
Patty: Got a nicotine craving!
Sherri & Terri: Testify!
Frink: There's a cramp in my glavin!
Sherri & Terri: Testify!
Bart & Sherri & Terri: Testify!
All: Testify!

Milhouse: My glasses make me look like a geek
Bart: Now you'll get the girls you seek
Sherri & Terri: We'll see you at Makeout Creek
All: Bart's the boy of the hour
he's got the power!
So raise your voice and don't be shy
Test-a, test-a
Bart: Test-a-fyyy!
All: Testify! Testify! Come on up and Testify!

(spoken)
Milhouse: Thank you Bart for fixing my vision
now I see with total precision!
Bart: Song's over Milhouse, but you're welcome.

A Book about a Man
Alone Again, Natura-diddly

Rachel: In a motel room in Delacroix
I was drinking like a Dartsmouth boy
and thinkin' 'bout the wrong turns that I took
Well I woke up on the puke green floor
and opened up a dresser drawer
lookin' for a bottle but instead I found a book.

A book about a man
a book about the dude who lives above
A book about a man
who drives a pickup full of sweet, sweet love.

Now if you think he doesn't care
or maybe that he isn't there
it's not too late to see how wrong you are
So when your soul has gone astray
just let God be your triple-A
he'll tow you to salvation and he'll overhaul your heart!

Special Girl
New Kids on the Blecch

Party Posse: Party Posse, we rule the Earth
The greatest band, since music's birth!
Milhouse: We love to sweat, and we love to sing
Nelson: We're real funky, but not threatening
Ralph: We're the best band in the world
Bart: But we'd give it all up for that special girl!

Party Posse: You're my special girl
Nelson: Special girl!
Party Posse: You're my special girl
Nelson: Only you!

Spelling Bee
New Kids on the Blecch

Bart: I saw you last night at the spelling bee
Milhouse: I knew right then that it was L-U-V
Nelson: I gotta spell out what you mean to me
Ralph: Cause I can no longer be a silent "G".

Party Posse: I've gotta spell out
Ralph: I've gotta spell out
Party Posse: I've gotta spell out what you mean to me
Ralph: What you mean to me.

Drop Da Bomb
New Kids on the Blecch

Party Posse: Oh, say can you rock?
Milhouse: There's trouble in a far off nation
Ralph: Time to get in love formation
Bart: Your love's more deadly than Saddam
Nelson: That's why I gotta drop da bomb!

Female Singers: Yvan eht nioj!
Yvan eht nioj!
Yvan eht nioj! Eht nioj!

Nelson: This party is happening
It's no mirage
Bart: So sing it again -
Milhouse: Y
Ralph: van
Nelson: eht
Party Posse: nioj!
Female Singers: Yvan eht nioj!
Female Singers: Yvan eht nioj!

They'll Never Stop the Simpsons
Gump Roast

Ullman shorts, Christmas show
Marge's fling, Homer's bro
Bart in well, Flanders fails
Whacking snakes, Monorail
Mr. Plow, Homer space
Sideshow Bob steps on rakes
Lisa's future, Selma's hubby
Marge not proud, Homer chubby.

Homer worries Bart is gay
Poochie, U2, NRA
Hippies, Vegas and Japan
Octuplets, and Bart's boy band
Marge murmurs, Maude croaks
Lisa's Buddhist, Homer tokes
Maggie blows Burns away
What else do I have to say!

They'll never stop The Simpsons
Have no fears, we've got stories for years, like:
Marge becomes a robot
Maybe Moe gets a cell phone
Has Bart ever owned a bear?
Or how about a crazy wedding?
Where something happens, a-do-do-do-do-do.

Sorry for the clip show
Have no fears, we've got story for years!

A Song About Marge
Large Marge

Homer: You took a twenty-carat diamond and made it gleam
Like a big spaghetti dinner, smothered in whip cream!
(music starts)
CBG: You're like X-men number three
In a Mylar bag
Snake: Your a brand new muscle car
And all the wheels are mag
Burns: You make me feel as young
As the blood I get from sheep
McCallister: Your like Jaclyn Basset
In my favorite film... The Deep
Moe: Your sexy and exotic
Like a hooker from Bales
Dr. Hibbert: Or a patient with insurance
Who's crawling with disease
All: Your a sundae underneath two great big cherries!
Marge: Keep in mind they're only temporary!
All: Still we'd like to say that we are very, very
Glad to see you
Quimby: And I degree you
The hottest thing to hit this city since the fire that killed eleven--
(gasp from diners)
--dangerous criminals!
Diners: Hooray!
(music finishes)
Homer: And they're all mine...

Grown Accustomed To His Face
The Great Louse Detective

Sideshow Bob: I've grown accustomed to his face
And dreams of gouging out his eyes
I've grown accustomed to my hate
My plans to lacerate
To disembowel, to hear him howl
The very reason that I live
Is plotting how to watch him die!

Homer: (spoken) Bart, turn down that original cast recording and go to sleep!

Sideshow Bob: I know this chubby scallywag
Has made my life a living hell
And surely if I drank his blood
I'd be at peace... but well?

Bart: You've grown accustomed to my face.

Sideshow Bob: (spoken) This isn't a duet!
Bart: (spoken) Sorry!

Sideshow Bob: I've grown accustomed to your fear
To revenge, accustomed to... your face!

Homer & Marge
Three Gays of the Condo

Weird Al: Little ditty, 'bout Homer and Marge
Her heart was as big as his stomach was large
Oh yeah, they say life goes on
Long after the grilled cheese sandwich is gone.

Homer & Marge (reprise)
Three Gays of the Condo

Weird Al: That's a story, 'bout Homer and Marge
Two folks I helped out, for a nominal charge
After Homer went gay they patched up their schism
But the dude never dealt with his alcoholism
Weird Al sayin' oh yeah, the credits go on
Long after viewer's interest is gone
Oh yeah, Weird Al had fun on this show
Even if it was just a brief cameo.

Everyone Hates Ned Flanders
Dude, Where's My Ranch?

Homer: Everybody in the USA
Hates their stupid neighbor
He's Flanders and he's really, really lame...
Flanders tried to wreck my song
His views on birth control are wrong
I hate his guts and Flanders is his name.

Lenny/Carl/Homer: F-L-A-N-R-D-S
Homer: He's the man that I hate best
I'd like to see his house go up in flames.

Lenny/Carl: F-L-A
Homer: His name is Ned!
Lenny/Carl: E-R-S
Homer: That's a stupid name!
He's worse than Frankenstein or Dr. No.

Byrne: You can't upset him even slightly
He just smiles and nods politely
Then goes home and worships nightly
His Leftorium, is an emporium, of woe!

Lenny/Carl: F-L-A
Homer: Don't yell at Ned!
Lenny/Carl: D-E-R
Homer: His wife is dead!
Everybody hates that stupid jerk!

Byrne: Springfield rocks with Homer's joyous loathing
Filling clubs with angry Valentinos
You don't have to move your feet
Just hate Flanders to the disco beat
Homer/Byrne: He's your perky, peppy, nightmare neighborino!
If you despise polite left-handers
Homer/Byrne/Flanders: Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders
Or his creepy little offspring, Rod and Todd
Todd: That's us!
Rod: Hooray!

Audience: F-L-A
Apu: His name is Ned
Audience: E-R-S
Apu: He is so white bread
Choir: A smiling moustache geek who walks with God!

I Love To Walk
Break My Wife, Please

Homer: I like to walk down the avenue
Bust a move with Disco Stu
Stu: You shake me from my bootie to my fro
Homer: Yes I strut down the boulevard
Burning off my excess lard
I rarely feel the need to utter D'oh!
Top o' the mornin' ladies!
Patty: Bite us.

Homer: I can walk from Springfield to Alaska
Then hop out with the stars in Malibu
Steve: Hi Homer, I'm actor Steve Buscemi
Homer: The guy who got fed into the wood-chipper in Fargo?

Homer: And when I hear:
Turkmen: You can't walk to Turkmenistan!
Homer: I say of course I can - screw you
(The Turkmen brandish knives)
Steve: Hey, would you guys like tickets to the Independent Film Awards?
Turkmen: Would we!?

Homer: Oh I love to perambulate
It's standing still I really hate
So let me please reiterate
I love to-- (Marge runs him over) D'oh!!

Me And You Again
Break My Wife, Please

Browne: You hooked up in high school
Now you've come so far
Then you started to hate him
And hit him with your car
Homer: So I threw you a fancy banquet
And now you can't stay mad
How bout a make-up snuggle?
It would be so rad
(Homer and Marge make up)
Browne: ...when you turned out the light
I've got to hand it to me
It looks like it's me and you again tonight
Marjory.

Vote For a Winner
The President Wore Pearls

Lisa: I'm not that cool, I don't wear jeans
I've polished an apple or two
But every grade that I grubbed
I grubbed it for you

So call me book worm
But I'll never squirm when there's work to be done
Yes I'll take my lunch at my desk
While your all outside having fun

Don't vote for me, kids of Springfield
Unless you want an effective leader
I'll talk to teachers, I'll handle Skinner
A vote for Lisa makes you the winner!

Everyone: Vote Lisa! Vote Lisa! Vote Lisa!

Nelson: I have a song too:
I am iron man
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do
Vote for me.

I Am Their Queen
The President Wore Pearls

Teachers: Eyes, pearls, smile, hair points Dress, voice, shoes, swatch watch
Lisa: I may be the new girl
But you can't brainwash me
Just OshKosh B'Gosh me
And then leave me be
To fight for kid power
I must be heard not seen
I have to lead wisely
Not just primp and preen.

Teachers: Nails, pimples, ears, scrunchie Purse, lunch box, teeth, Milhouse
Lisa: This cuting-up suits me
There's beauty within me
So let's Olsen Twin me
Give them someone to love
This grown-up makeover
Has made me a super tween
For they are my people
And I am their queen.

Skinner's Evil Plan
The President Wore Pearls

Skinner: I'm so happy with my evil plan
Say goodbye to music, gym and art
Soon we will have the perfect school
Where fun and excitement never start.

Willy: I'm so drunk I can barely see
But it helps me get through another day
My stomach is filled with haggis and ham
I've gotta go puke in some hay.

Bart: Lisa is a fool
Skinner: I think the rules are cool
Willy: I'm falling in the pool!

A Tango Takes Two
The President Wore Pearls

Lisa: What have I done?
Bart: What they wanted you to
Lisa: Skinner betrayed me
Bart: But a tango takes two.

Smart Girl Six Three
The President Wore Pearls

Kids: Poor Lisa! poor Lisa!
Lisa: Don't cry for me kids of Springfield
You can still reach me through email
At smartgirl six three
Underscore backslash
At yahoo dot com
At yahoo dot com!

Miss Krabappel
My Big Fat Geek Wedding

(Choir consists of Bart, Milhouse and Martin)

Choir: Oh Edna K, oh Edna K, oh Edna K, oh Edna K
Oh Edna K, oh Edna K, oh Edna K, oh Edna K
Skinner: Miss Krabappel, a sad principal
Is desperate and needy
If you come home I won't die alone
And that's what I'd prefer
Bart: Oh pleeeeease
Settle for Seymour
So pleeeeease
Come back to the dork.

America
Simple Simpson

I could please Miss Barbara Streisand
By spitting on the flag
Or strangling a bald eagle
On the cover of some mag
But I love this country
To me she has no sins
If you don't buy my record
Then Al Qaida wins.

Bart's Hip Hop song
Pranksta Rap

Bart: Don't critique my technique
I'm no geek
I make the Principal nervous
My friends can confirm this
I'll bust a spit wad in your epidermis.

You can trace my remorse to its super-sized source
A hungry, hungry hypocrite named Homer of course
My old man's pathetic
Damn is his head thick
The gas from his ass is carcinogenic
Every day I pray his DNA ain't genetic.

Welcome To Moe's
Mommie Beerest

Marge: This place is a diamond but it's trapped in the rough
Moe: Well the sign still says Moe's, so enough of your guff
Marge: Here's my new idea to sell both beer and grub
We will turn this filthy dive into a proper old-time British pub
Bart & Lisa: Guards, and meat pies, and lager in pint glasses
What a classy way to get drunk off your asses
Moe: Hey hold the phone, and English pub? That just might work.
Everyone: In song!
Moe: My bar could be British instead of arm-pittish
So why don't we all--
Ah screw it, let's get renovating.

I'm Talkin' Springfield
A Star Is Torn

Lisa: I've been to Paris, and London, and Tokyo town
But one crazy 'burg has 'em all beat hands down!
Sideshow Mel: Jacksonville?
Lisa: I'm talkin' Springfield - you can buy chimichangas
Talkin' Springfield - the chicks have big gazongas
There's tires on fire, a guy named Apu
And Skinner, and Grampa, and old Disco Stu
Did I forget to mention you?
Lenny: You? That's me!
Lisa: I'm talkin' Springfield, where nobody sucks
(quietly) Except for Flanders...

My Kitty Died
A Star Is Torn

Lisa: My kitty died on Christmas Eve
Daddy told me to be brave
But instead of singing carols
I was digging Snowball's grave.

Always My Dad
A Star Is Torn

Lisa: I'm in the final two, I should be happy
But al I want to do is spend more time with my pappy
Now that you're gone, Dad, I miss you so much
And your threats against teamsters and techies and such
Your management style was like Attila the Hun
You were vicious, malicious, but you got the job done
I'm sorry I hurt you, but please don't be sad
You're no longer my coach, but you're always my Dad.

Privileged Boy
A Star Is Torn

Cameron: I'm a privileged boy, it's great I gotta tell ya
Privileged boy, my Dad can buy and sell ya
It really doesn't matter that you're on the list in front of me
I'm gonna get your table 'cause I always tip the maitre d'
And then I'll go to Yale, because I am a legacy
I'm better than you!

Politically Incorrect
That 90's Show

Homer: Pain is brown
Hate is white
Love is black
Stab the night
Kingdom of numb
Closet of hurt
Feelings are dumb
Kisses are dirt

Shave Me
That 90's Show

Homer: Razor-blade of apathy
Shave me with your irony
Shave me!
Shave me!

Brain Freeze
That 90's Show

Weird Al: Raisin bran with apple sauce
Tony Danza, he's the boss
Brain freeze!
Brain freeze!
Brain freeze!
Brain freeze!

Margerine
That 90's Show

Homer: Spread yellow gunk
On my pancake heart
Country-churned girl
In my grocery cart

I paid for her dreams
She taught me to cry
Like watery knives
Like rain from my eyes

I can't believe you're not mine
I can't believe you're not mine
Margerine
Margerine
Margerine
Margerine!
Margerine!

The Girl I Love
Little Orphan Millie

Homer: The girl I love's got beautiful hair
A blue bouffant from here to there
Snow White teeth, her lips are red
She's the Wilma to my Fred

Oh the girl I love's got beautiful (gasp) eyes
When happy they sparkle, when sad they cries
Those eyes are gems beyond appraisal
A stunning shade of purest...

Any Minute Now
Love, Springfieldian Style

(Sung by dog versions of Simpsons characters)

Marge: Any minute now
He'll scamper through that doggie door
Homer: Any minute now
I'll be the dog she's looking for
Barflies: Any minute now
You'll be stuck with her brood
Patty/Selma: Any minute now
This pooch will know she's screwed
Marge: My heart tells me to trust him
Patty/Selma: But your head knows he's a hound
Homer: I want to do the right thing
Moe: Come on, with all this high class tail around?
Fleas: Any minute now
Our girl will make a brand new start
Patty/Selma: Yes!
Marge: Any minute now
I won't care that he broke my heart
Homer/Marge: Any minute now

Deadbeat Daddy
Papa Don't Leech

Lurleen Lumpkin: I was cryin' in my cradle
When my daddy hopped a train
He left a hole in my heart
And filled it up with pain
I know no amount of liqour
Will sooth my aching ticker
'Cause the love for my deadbeat daddy
Is still pumping through my veins.

Daddy's Back
Papa Don't Leech

Lurleen Lumpkin: Thirty years you made me cry
But now I see ya ain't such a bad guy
I haven't felt this good since the Lord knows when

And I'm sure you got a million reasons
For being gone a hundred twenty seasons
But Daddy's back and I'm feeling like a daughter again

All: Yeah Daddy's back!
Lurleen Lumpkin: And I'm feeling like a daughter
All: Daddy's back!
Bart: And she's feeling like she oughta
All: Daddy's back!
Royce Lumpkin: And he's drinking bottled water
Lisa: Keep it down! I'm reading Harry Potter
Marge: My body washes Estee Lauder
All: Daddy's back and I'm feeling like a daughter again!

Grampa: And here comes Grampa with an otter!

Themes & jingles

The Simpsons Main Title Theme (Extended)
No specific episode

Krusty the Clown Show theme
No specific episode

Itchy & Scratchy theme
No specific episode

They fight, and bite!
And fight and fight and bite!
Fight fight fight!
Bite bite bite!
The Itchy and Scratchy show!

Burns campaign jingle
Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

Only a moron wouldn't cast his vote for Monty Burns!

Eye On Springfield theme
Flaming Moe's

Bad Cops
Lisa The Beauty Queen

Bad cops, bad cops, Bad cops, bad cops
Bad cops, bad cops, Bad cops, bad cops.

Springfield cops are on the take
But what do you expect for the money we make?
Whether in a car or on a horse
We don't mind using excessive force!

Bad cops, bad cops
Bad cops, bad cops.

Mr. Plow jingle
Mr. Plow

Homer: Call Mr. Plow
That's my name
That name again is Mr. Plow!

Plow King jingle
Mr. Plow

Linda Ronstadt: When the snow starts a-fallin'
There's a man you should be callin'
That's KL5-4796, let it ring!
Mr. Plow is a loser
And I think he is a boozer
Barney & Linda: So you better make that call to the Plow King!

Flintstones Theme
Marge Vs. The Monorail

Homer: Simpson! Homer Simpson!
He's the greatest guy in history
From the, town of Springfield
He's about to hit a chestnut tree!
Aaaah!

Everyone Loves Ned Flanders theme
The Front

Chorus: Hens love roosters
Geese love ganders
Everyone else loves Ned Flanders!
Homer: Not me!
Chorus: Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders!

Quimby Campaign jingle
Sideshow Bob Roberts

Without a Mayor Quimby, our town would really stink
We wouldn't have a tire yard, or a mid-size roller rink
We wouldn't have our gallows, or our shiny Bigfoot trap
It's not the mayor's fault that the stadium collapsed!

'The Jolly Bengali' theme
22 Short Films About Springfield (cut)

When you need a midnight snack
A heat-lamp dog or a Duff six-pack
Then pull out your wallet and don't hold back
With Apu Nahasapeemapetilon!

Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel
22 Short Films About Springfield

(The lyrics to this song appeared on-screen.)

Some folk'll never eat a skunk
But then again, some folk'll...
Like Cletus The slack-jawed yokel.

Most folk'll never lose a toe
And then again, some folk'll...
Like Cletus The slack-jawed yokel.

Skinner And The Superintendent theme
22 Short Films About Springfield

Skinner, with his crazy explanations
The superintendant's gonna need his medication
When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations
There'll be trouble in town tonight!

The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show theme
The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show

High pitch: They fight, and bite!
Low pitch: And bark
High pitch: And fight and fight and bite!
Low pitch: And bark
High pitch: Fight fight fight!
Low pitch: Woof woof woof
High pitch: The Itchy and Scratchy - and Poochie - show!

The Poochie Rap
The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show

Poochie: The name's Poochie D and I rock the telly
I'm half Joe Camel and a third Fonzarelli
I'm the kung fu hippie from gangsta city
I'm a rappin' surfer, you the fool I pity.

Chief Wiggum, P.I. theme
The Simpsons Spin-off Showcase

Love-Matic Grampa theme
The Simpsons Spin-off Showcase

While shopping for some cans
An old man passed away
He floated up toward Heaven
But got lost along the way
Now he's the love-matic Grampa
The wise Socratic Grampa
He'll fill our hearts with love

Max Power
Homer to the Max

Homer: Max Power
He's the man who's name you'd love to touch
But you mustn't touch!
His name sounds good in your ear
But when you say it, you mustn't fear!
'Cause his name can be said by anyone!

Simpsons Christmas Boogie
Behind The Laughter

Family: We're gonna groove tonight
We'll make you feel alright -
Simpsons Christmas Boogie!

We're dancing to the beat
We'll make you move your feet -
Simpsons Christmas Boogie!
Simpsons Christmas Boogie!
Simpsons Christmas Boogie!

Other

Mama Took Those Batteries
Treehouse of Horror IX

Mama took those batteries
She took 'em away
Mama took those batteries
Size double-A.

I Like Pizza
Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?

Homer: I like pizza, I like bagels
I like hotdogs with mustard and beer
I'll eat eggplant, I could even eat a baby deer
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Who's that baby deer on the lawn?

This Log
Lisa The Treehugger

Singers: This log is your log
This log is my log
When lightning struck it
It kicked the bucket!
Moe: I poured some onions
inside my trousers
Singers: This log, it used to be a tree
Now it spreads love to you and me
Hey look, it's heading out to sea!

Hunger Pains
Hungry, Hungry Homer

Homer: Dancin' away my hunger pains
Movin' my feet so my stomach won't hurt
I'm kinda like Jesus
But not in a sacrificial way.

I'm Henry VIII
Margical History Tour

Homer: I'm Henry the eighth, I am
Henry the eighth, I am I am
I've been eating since six a.m
For dessert I'll have dinner again
My name's synonymous with gluttony
I'll always eat a turkey or a ham.

Back-rub
That 90's Show

(Homer, Lenny, Carl and Lou sing.)

I'll make rub to you
Show respect for you
Hug so safe and strong
Back rub all night long
I'll make rub to you...