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Simpsons fast-scrolling lists

This page is a compilation of short lists that appeared by scrolling quickly up the screen. There are some great jokes mixed in here (particularly the Rock Bottom Corrections), but normally the only way to spot them was to tape the episode and freeze-frame it on playback.

Not any more! We bring you all the lists in a static format.

Krusty's Birthday Buddies

In Radio Bart, Bart is among the Krusty's Birthday Buddies: a long list of names that scrolled very quickly down the TV screen. Somehow, Bart was able to see his name in the list (I've highlighted it in bold below). Several names in the list are people who worked on the show at the time (e.g. Ken Keeler).

June Goodwin
Reagan Gray
Paul Grenville
Jim Greigor
Harriet Hartman
Mike Himes
Julie Hirsh
Janet Hopkins
Cara Hunter
Gracie Jenson
Loretta Kangas
Marylin Katz
Ken Keeler
John Lanzetta
Lorna Le Fever
Marle Lichterman
Iris Lowe
Kim Madrigal
Cammie McGovern
Bill McLain
David Moulton
Mary Myron
Nigel Nelson
J.P. Patches
Ted Phillips
Randy Plut
Brady Reed
Kevin Reilly
Pete St. George
Casey Sanders
Matthew Schneider
Patrick Semple
Emma Shannon
Bart Simpson
Larry Stone
Beth Summerlin
Kale Suuberg
Dale Thomas
John Travis
Eric Van Buerden
Patrick Verrone
Lee Wallace
Jay Weinstein
Chris White
Jay Wiviott
Henry Yeomans

Rock Bottom Corrections

After Homer was aquitted of sexual harassment in Homer: Badman, Rock Bottom offered him an apology in the form of these corrections:

"Peoples' Choice Awards" is America's greatest honor.
Styrofoam is not made from kittens.
The UFO was a paper plate.
The nerds on the Internet are not geeks.
The word "cheese" is not funny in and of itself.
The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod.
Lyndon Johnson did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam.
If you are reading this, you have no life.
Roy Rogers was not buried in his horse.
The other UFO was an upside down salad spinner.
Our universities are not "hotbeds" of anything.
Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes.
Our viewers are not pathetic sexless food tubes.
Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds.
The "Cheers" gang is not a real gang.
Salt water does not chase the thirsties away.
Licking an electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty Morphing Power Ranger.
Cats do not eventually turn into dogs.
Bullets do not bounce off of fat guys.
Recycling does not deplete the ozone.
Everything is 10% fruit juice.
The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream.
Janet Reno is evil.
V8 juice is not 1/8 gasoline.
Ted Koppel is a robot.
Women aren't from Venus and men aren't form Mars.
Fleiss does floss.
Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures.
Bart is bad to the bone.
Godfry Jones' wife is cheating on him.
The Beatles haven't reunited to enter kick boxing competitions.
The "Bug" on your TV screen can see into your home.
Everyone on TV is better than you.
The people who are writing this have no life.

Kent Brockman's gay list

In Bart's Comet, Kent Brockman hosts the news bulletin detailing the rocket's failure to destroy the comet.

Over, the years, a news reporter learns things that for one reason or another, he simply cannot report. It doesn't seem to matter now, so the following people are gay...

The following list scrolls by very quickly. If you think these names look familiar, you'd be correct - all these people work on The Simpsons! John Swartzwelder (the episode's writer) and Bob Anderson (the director) are absent for some reason...

MATT GROENING
KEN TSUMARA
GEORGE MEYER
JOEL KUWAHARA
BILL OAKLEY
ELIZABETH JACOBS
JOSH WEINSTEIN
JANE O'BRIEN
ANNETTE ANDERSEN
JENNIFER CRITTENDEN
MIKE SCULLY
DOMINIQUE BRAUD-STIGER
GREG DANIELS
JOSEPH BOUCHER
AL JEAN
PING WARNER
MIKE REISS
CRAIG FEENEY
RICHARD RAYNISS
DON GILBERT
DAVID MIRKIN
JACQUELINE ATKINS
CHRIS LEDESMA
MARK McJIMSEY
ALF CLAUSEN
ALISON ELLIOTT
DAVID SILVERMAN
DAVID COHEN

Arrested celebrities

A brief news report in Lisa's Wedding lists the following names as celebrities that have been arrested.

The Baldwin Brothers Gang
Dr. Brad Pitt
John-John-John Kennedy
George Burns
Infamous Amos
Grandson of Sam
The Artist Formerly Known as [squiggle sign]
Tim Allen, Jr.
Senator and Mrs. Dracula
The Artist Formerly Known as Buddy Hackett
Madonnabots: Series K
Sideshow Ralph Wiggum
Martha Hitler
Johnny Neutrino

...while Heather Locklear remains at large. Remember, if you see any celebrities, consider them dangerous.

DNA names on file

Wiggum tries to find the owner of an eyelash in Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part Two. The following family names were shown on screen. You ought to recognise most of the names as Simpsons characters. The others are staff on the show (e.g. Oakley is showrunner Bill Oakley).

BOUVIER
BURNS
SMITHERS
FLANDERS
SZYSLAK
NAHASAPEEMAPETILAN
GUMBEL
SKINNER
KRABAPPEL
HOOVER
CORY
JOHNSTON
OAKLEY
PULIDO
ALLEN
LEVYA
ANDERSON
CONSTANTINDES
DEMAKES
HERNANDEZ
HIKMAN
LEIBOVITZ
MACMULLEN
McGRATH
WARKER
HUTZ
RIVIERA
MOLEMAN
MUNTZ
VAN HOUTEN
JONES
McALLISTER
McCLURE
POWERS
WOLFCASTLE
GRINER
MEYERS
KOMPOWSKI
ARNOLD
SINCLAIR
LARSEN
LANLEY
KOBB
DEVLIN
WHITE
MEYER
JEAN
REISS 
BIDDLE
FUDGE
WEINSTEIN
SIMMONS
DUBOSE
SPARK 
LESTER
JACKSON
KANSLER
LAZARUS
KIM 
PHILLIPS
DONDELINGER
FRINK
PIE
CHALMERS
NIXON
SNYDER
PUENTE
MURPHY
PRINCE
WARDI
ENGELLAND 
HEIDEN
KONTOGIORGOS
ADLER
BROKAW
EMELIN
FERNANDEZ
MORRIS
JABOUR
BICK-FORRESTER
LESHER
COHEN
SCHOLL
CARVALHO
SCHIMINOVICH
HANDEL
GATTIS
SEMMEL
MATSUMARA
REGE
WILENN
SCHIFF
STEVENS
VERNOOY
WU
NEBBLE
ELLIOTT
BEARD 
FALK
LANE
HERWITZ
ZOMBANKS
GUTENTAG
BARLOW
CONOVER
SHUTTON
McCARTNEY
STARR
HARRISON
MASTERSON
HYDELL
ZIFF
COLBEAR
GROTSTEIN
HODGE
ATKINS
ITZKOWITZ
PIERPONT
HANDLEMAN
HIGGINSON
BUSBY
AMIR
FISHER
FLENDER
GORDON
HINES
KRAMER
LOBKOWICZ
LAZEBNIK
MOLNER
SHIPLEY
NESCI
ALEXANDER
TYSON
MONTGOMERY
MOSTOW
RHINELANDER
JACOBS
WIDMER
SALTZMAN
TOBEASON
GOODMAN
LOVELL
TAYLOR
BORGNINE
SHORT
HAPABLAP
BRODKA
HURLBUT
LIEBERSTEIN
METCALF
OSHMAN
POWELL
GARDNER
FRIEND
BROSS
STEIKER
WEINHAUS
SCHICK
YAFFE
BRENNAN
SAKAI
TATUM
POWELL
GLICK
BERGSTROM
MANGAN
CASLON
BORDEN
GRONQUIST
WESTCOTT
APPEL
DANIELS
LOVEJOY
BROCKMEN
QUIMBY
WIGGUM
KRUSTOFSKY
VAN HORNE
SIMPSON
TERWILLIGER
MANN
CHRISTIAN
HIBBERT

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