Making the Headlines

Founded in 1883 by Johnny Newspaperseed, The Springfield Shopper is Springfield's number one newspaper - in fact, after merging with The Springfield Times, Springfield Post, Springfield Globe, Springfield Herald, Springfield Jewish News and Hot Sex Weekly, it is now the only major newspaper in Springfield. At one time it was free, but the price has risen over a period of time and is currently sold at 50¢.

Every headline from the Springfield Shopper and other newspapers/magazines (named where applicable) is listed below, complete with screenshots, and subheadings and second headlines where applicable.

Season 1

Homer's Odyssey

SIMPSON SAYS SAFE!
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DOZENS CHEER HOMER SIMPSON
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HOMER SIMPSON STRIKES AGAIN!
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WATCH OUT, HERE COMES HOMER
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ENOUGH ALREADY, HOMER SIMPSON!
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Call of The Simpsons

(National Informer)
BIGFOOT STILL AT LARGE
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(National Informer)
I MARRIED BIGFOOT
Shocking Interview Inside!
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(National Informer)
BIGFOOT'S WIFE PLEADS: "CALL HIM HOMER!"
Details Inside
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(National Informer)
THE BIGFOOT DIET: "PORK CHOPS APLENTY"
Tasty Recipes Inside
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The Crepes of Wrath

(Newsweeque)
VIVE LE BART!
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Krusty Gets Busted

(Timely)
KROOK OF THE YEAR
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(Newsweekly)
RHYMES WITH DASTARD
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(Today's Guns)
357 MAGNUM
The Clown Stopper
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Season 2

Simpson and Delilah

(The Springfield Power Plant Employee Newsletter)
WORK ACCIDENTS REACH RECORD LOW
Output Up 15 Percent
Management Caves In To Condiment Outcry
screenshot

Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

MUTATION CAUGHT AT OL' FISHIN' HOLE
Is Power Plant Responsible?
Boy Was Using Five Pound Test and Ordinary Worms
Sister Was Just There For Tranquility
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(In Bart's scrapbook, as he pastes a cutting of the previous headline into it.)
VANDAL DECAPITATES TOWN STATUE
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FISHIN' HOLE OR FISSION HOLE?
Burns Denies Responsibilities In Fish Flap
Count The Eyes, Mr. Burns!
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GOVERNOR CALLS FOR POWER PLANT INSPECTION
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BURNS ENTERS GUBERNATORIAL RACE
3 Eyed Fish In Every Pot?
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BURNS SKYROCKETS TO SEVEN PERCENT IN LATEST POLLS
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BURNS BANDWAGON ROLLS ON
Latest Poll Puts Him At 22 Percent
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BURNS NUKES BAILEY IN LATEST POLL
Forty-Two Percent And Climbing
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Itchy & Scratchy & Marge

ART TREASURE TO VISIT SPRINGFIELD
Michelangelo's David In 1958
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Bart Gets Hit By A Car

Mr. Burns imagines these headlines:

BURNS FIRES UNGRATEFUL EMPLOYEE
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ANOTHER SMART MOVE BY BURNS
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HOORAY FOR BURNS!
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Lisa's Substitute

(Daily Fourth Gradian)
BART TO MARTIN: "EAT MY SHORTS"
Simpson Wins Debate!
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(Daily Fourth Gradian)
EXTRA!!! PRINCE BEATS SIMPSON
(In the photo, Martin holds copy of the paper with the headline: SIMPSON DEFEATS PRINCE)
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Season 3

Stark Raving Dad

MICHAEL JACKSON HOAX
Everyone Mad At Local Boy
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Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington

NEVER TOO BUSY...
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(Washington Beacon)
EXTRA! CONGRESS CLEANS HOUSE
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When Flanders Failed

PRESIDENT DECLARES WORLD PEACE
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PRESIDENT SIMPSON DECLARES WORLD PEACE
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PRESIDENT SIMPSON WINS SUPER BOWL
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Bart the Murderer

PRINCIPAL STILL MISSING
Police Search For Body
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PSYCHIC JOINS SKINNER HUNT
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PRINCIPAL MURDER TRIAL BEGINS TODAY
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SENTENCING TODAY FOR DINKY DON
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Homer Defined

(US of A Today)
AMERICA'S FAVORITE PENCIL
#2 Is #1
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Treehouse of Horror II

WORLD PEACE DECLARED
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MONSTERS OKAY SLAVERY PLAN
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Flaming Moe's

WIZARD OF WALNUT STREET
Moe with a Flaming Moe
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(Timely)
ONE MOE FOR THE ROAD
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(Bar and Stool magazine)
THROUGH THE ROOF!
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Radio Bart

SQUIRREL RESEMBLING ABRAHAM LINCOLN FOUND
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Separate Vocations

(Daily Fourth Gradian)
FOODFIGHT FOILED FISHSTICKS SEIZED
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Dog of Death

LOTTERY DRAWING TODAY
President, Rock Star to Swap Wives
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Colonel Homer

(Springfield Variety)
HIX IN STIX LOVE CHIX LIX
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Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?

LOCAL MAN, HOMER SIMPSON, RECEIVES AWARD AND $2000 CHECK
(with a picture of him falling off balcony)
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screenshot 2

Season 4

A Streetcar Named Marge

PLAY ENJOYED BY ALL
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Lisa the Beauty Queen

LISA KICKS BUTT
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QUEEN TO MAYOR: YOU'RE NEXT
Nerds Pummeled in Football Melee
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Treehouse of Horror III

(Interesting note: as this newspaper spins into view, the second headline "Woody Allen Born" is in place of the "Dick Cavett Born" headline. It changes to the latter on the last spin. Both newspapers feature an adult picture of the person in question, even though they had just been born.)
WOMAN WEDS APE
Dick Cavett Born
screenshot 1
screenshot 2

Lisa's First Word

MONDALE TO HART: WHERE'S THE BEEF?
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Marge vs. the Monorail

BURNS PAYS CITY 3 MIL!
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I Love Lisa

(from an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon)
YOU NEED A HEART TO LIVE
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Krusty Gets Kancelled

WHO IS GABBO?
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FIVE DAYS 'TIL GABBO
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GABBO HERE TODAY
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(Springfield Variety)
GABBO FABBO! KRUSTY RUSTY
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QUIMBY RE-ELECTED BY LANDSLIDE
Two More Bodies Surface In Springfield Harbor
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GABBO STILL #1 IN SPRINGFIELD
Brockman Fired
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KRUSTY SPECIAL AIRS TODAY
Gabbo To Have "Real Boy" Operation
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Season 5

Rosebud

BURNS' BIRTHDAY TODAY
Credits Long Life To Satan
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Homer The Vigilante

CAT BURGLAR STRIKES 15 HOMES!
Man Marries Woman In Wedding Ceremony
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BURGLAR STRIKES AGAIN!
Is Nothing Safe?
(the paper is then stolen)
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ZIRCONIA ZTOLEN!!!
Simpson Asleep At Switch
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Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy

LOCAL GAYS SHOW THEIR PRIDE
(Bart is at the forefront of the picture)
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Homer Loves Flanders

BIG FAT MAN HAS BIG FAT HEART
Little Thin Man Accused In Robbery
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Bart Gets An Elephant

KBBL CHEATS STRAIGHT-A STUDENT!!!
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The Boy Who Knew Too Much

QUIMBY NEPHEW CHARGED IN BEATING
Chowder Said Wrong
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Season 6

Sideshow Bob Roberts

BOB PARDON: #1 LOCAL ISSUE
Edges Out "No Fat Chicks" Ordinance
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CALL FOR PROBE IN BOB FLAP
EDITORIAL: Why Not Let Dead Pets Vote?
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TODDLERS TOPPLE MAYOR
Expressway Halt Rankles Elderly
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Bart's Comet

PREZ SEZ: "SCHOOL IS FOR LOSERS"
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BOY DISCOVERS COMET
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ROCKET TO KICK COMET'S TAIL
Mayor Visits City
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Homer Vs. Patty and Selma

(gag paper)
BART NAMED WORLD'S GREATEST SEX MACHINE
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A Star Is Burns

INCONTINENT OLD MAN WINS MISS TEEN AMERICA
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The Springfield Connection

(Sponge and Vacuum)
PREVIEW OF THE '96 SPONGES
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(Danger Liker)
MINEFIELDS - PLAYGROUNDS FOR THE 90s
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(Glass Eater)
WINE BOTTLES: OUR TEN FAVORITE VINTAGES
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(Other magazines in this episode include: "Bear Baiter," "Mosh Pitter," "Rock Jumper," "Cliff Biker.")

Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)

AWFUL SCHOOL IS AWFUL RICH
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BURNS PLANS SUNSHINE HALT
SPECIAL SECTION: Your Guide To Perpetual Darkness
Town Meeting Friday
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Season 7

Radioactive Man

WHO WILL BE FALLOUT BOY?
Who Will Be Fallout Boy?
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MILHOUSE DISAPPEARS!
Movie On Hold
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(Variety)
MILHOUSE MELTDOWN
Ankles Pic - Flick Sick
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SPINNING NEWSPAPER INJURES PRINTER
(Note: this and the previous two were all spinning papers, one after the other)
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Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily

AMERICA LOVES TED KENNEDY
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40 TRAMPLED AT POCO CONCERT
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(The Flanders Press)
PLAYTIME IS FUN
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(The Flanders Press)
EXTRA EXTRA! TODD SMELLS
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(The Flanders Press)
SIMPSON KIDS MISS MOM & DAD
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King Size Homer

(Employee Newsletter)
BURNS SURVIVES BRUSH WITH SHUT-IN
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Mother Simpson

LOCAL MAN LOSES PANTS, LIFE
Beaver Rescue Falls Short
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Lisa The Iconoclast

PARADE TO DISTRACT JOYLESS CITIZENRY
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The Day the Violence Died

BUM SUES CARTOON KING
Got legal fee from some family
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A Fish Called Selma

TROY A LITTLE TENDERNESS
Look Who's Drunk (picture of McBain)
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TROY WEDS
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(Variety)
McCLURE ANKLES OBSCURITY
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22 Short Films About Springfield

HELMS CALLS FOR DONUT TAX
Deadbeat Dad Beat Dead
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screenshot 2

Much Apu About Nothing

QUIMBY'S PROPOSITION 24 ON BALLOT
Quimby Propositions 24 At Ballet
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POLICE PREPARE FOR DEPORTATIONS
Bear Patrol Steps Up Bombing Campaign
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Season 8

You Only Move Twice

SUPERVILLAIN SEIZES EAST COAST
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The Homer They Fall

CHAMP TO WHALE ON LOCAL MAN
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KICKIN' BACK
Fifty Ways To Waste Your Weekend
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The Springfield Files

HUMAN BLIMP SEES FLYING SAUCER
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The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

FUNNY DOG TO MAKE LIFE WORTHWHILE
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(Toon Beat Magazine)
HOMER SIMPSON AND POOCHIE!
The Voice Of Cool
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The Brother From Another Series

MANIAC TO LIVE AT BROTHER'S APARTMENT
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Homer Vs. The Eighteenth Amendment

ALCOHOL PROHIBITED IN SPRINGFIELD
Bums Threaten To Leave Town
screenshot

CITY GOES DRY TODAY
Bums Extend Deadline
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BANNER BARS BOOZE
Booze Barred By Banner
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BEER BARON BEATS BANNER
Family Sedan Outruns Cops
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The Old Man And The Lisa

BURNS TO OPEN RECYCLING PLANT
Makes Other Bums Look Bad
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Season 9

Treehouse of Horror XIII

NEUTRON BOMB HEADED FOR SPRINGFIELD!
Hippo Promoted To Detective
screenshot

Realty Bites

GRUESOME MURDERS AT SOCIALITE'S HOUSE
Mrs. Astor Safe
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Miracle on Evergreen Terrace

SIMPSONS SCAM SPRINGFIELD
Angry Mob Mulls Options
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The Joy Of Sect

SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER PURCHASED BY EVIL NICE CULT
Check Out Our New Cult Lifestyle Section
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Trash of the Titans

NEW FACE IN TRASH RACE
Local Nut At It Again
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SIMPSON WINS IN LANDSLIDE
Says "Crazy Promises" The Key
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The Last Temptation of Krust

DOG KILLS CAT, SELF
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Natural Born Kissers

LOCAL COUPLE BARES ALL!
Police Dog Clings To Life
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Season 10

Homer to the Max

IT'S WAR!
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The Old Man and The "C" Student

TOWN PREPARES FOR OLYMPICS
Pickpockets Call Up Reserves
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Season 11

Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?

UNUSUALLY LARGE, UGLY BABY BORN
(includes picture of Homer as a baby)
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(Springfield Shopper Lifeways)
NUTS TO SOUP
by Homer Simpson, Food Critic
Krusty: Worst King Lear In 400 Years
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COD IS GREAT, SCROD IS GOOD
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THAR, SHE BLOWS!
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Little Big Mom

(Toon Times, in a Itchy & Scratchy cartoon)
SCIENTIST CLONES SHEEP
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Eight Misbehavin'

NAHASAPEEMAPETILAN-TASTIC!
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Behind the Laughter

(Daily Variety)
YELLOW FEVER
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(The Hollywood Reporter)
BUMPTIOUS BROOD BOFFO!
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FEDS TO SIMPS: PAY UP!
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THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!
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Season 12

Lisa The Tree Hugger

KETCHUP TRUCK HITS HAMBURGER STAND
Six Dead
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LISA ALIVE!
Hemp City Reduced To Stems And Seeds
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The Computer Wore Menace Shoes

WEB SNOOP EXPOSES POOL HUSTLE
Mr. X Makes Headlines
screenshot 1
screenshot 2

Simpson Safari

FOOD SUPPLY CUT OFF
Even Pies
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Trilogy of Error

FIRST DAY OF SPRING
Ants, Picnickers Reach Last-Minute Accord
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Season 13

The Parent Rap

PAIR SINKS JUDGE'S HOUSE
Quilt Ruined
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Brawl in the Family

SIMPSONS ARRESTED IN FAMILY RIOT
Even Maggie
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Half Decent Proposal

SLEEP IMPORTANT, SAY EXPERTS
Slow News Day Grips Springfield
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The Old Man and the Key

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD
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I Am Furious (Yellow)

("Newspaper", in one of Bart's Internet cartoons)
YOU SUCK ANGRY DAD
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Weekend At Burnsie's

MEDICAL MARIJUANA OUTLAWED
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The Frying Game

HO. J. SIMPSON TRIAL STARTS TODAY
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Papa's Got a Brand New Badge

HEAT WAVE CONTINUES
(the ink on the page then melts away)
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Season 14

Large Marge

CRAZED MOM GOES TOPLESS
Photos pages 3-28
TV Clown Saves Day
(Initially it looks as though "TV Clown Saves Day" is the headline, but the camera pans out to show it is less significant.)
screenshot

Special Edna

TEACHER NOMINATED FOR AWARD
Will She Leave Old Life Behind?
Closed Pistachio Stymies Fatso
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The Dad Who Knew Too Little

DRUNK COP FIRED FROM FORCE
Private Eye Wins Bake-Off
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screenshot 2

A Star is Born Again

LONELY MEN DIE EARLY
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(The National Whoops)
SARA LIVES IN SIN, MESS
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Three Gays of the Condo

BUMBLEBEE MAN CAUGHT IN STING
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Dude, Where's My Ranch?

(Billboard for kidz)
FLAN SLAM IS #1 JAM
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Old Yeller-Belly

ALE OF THE PUP
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The Bart of War

CAVALRY KIDS LEAD CHARGE IN CLEANUP
President Shoots Wife
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Moe Baby Blues

BABY SAVED BY LOCAL HERO, NOT FATHER
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Season 15

My Mother the Carjacker

MAYOR UNVEILS ERECTION TO CHEERING CROWD
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The President Wore Pearls

(Daily Fourth Gradian)
SCHOOL ELECTIONS TODAY
Are You A Bart Of A Milhouse? Take Our Quiz
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The Regina Monologues

(The Times)
YANK BANGS QUEEN, OLD BEAN
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(The Mirror)
SIMPO TO UK: "I'LL KILL YOU ALL"
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(The Sun)
YANKEE DOODLE RANDY
Topless Homer on Page 3
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(The Sun)
JUDGE GOES MEDIEVAL ON SIMPSON'S ASS
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(The Mirror)
WACKO JACKO TO BLIMPO SIMPO: SELL ME YOUR BONES
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(The Daily Mail)
BART AND PRINCE HARRY - OUT OF CONTROL?
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Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays

"FAMILIES COME FIRST" ON BALLOT
Second Headline Less Important, Studies Show
screenshot

"FAMILIES COME FIRST" WRONG FOR SPRINGFIELD
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COSTS TOO MUCH, DOES TOO LITTLE
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Simple Simpson

OBESE NERD EATS HUMBLE PIE
"Pie Man" Back For Seconds
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Bart-Mangled Banner

(Daily Fourth Gradian)
IN-DE NO-PANTS DAY!
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U-ASS-A!
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Fraudcast News

(The Red Dress Press)
ELEGY FOR GEEZER ROCK
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BELOVED HERO CHEATS DEATH
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(Burns Weekly)
"IT'S TOO LATE"
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(The Red Dress Press)
LISA TO BURNS: 'DROP DEAD'
Ralph Wiggum's Oscar Picks
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(Chicago Tribune)
RALPHINGS
I Can Go On The Bus
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Bart's cartoon:
Free Speech

(The Red Dress Press)
NYAH, NYAH WE'RE BACK
Lisa Rules, Burns Drools
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LISA'S A TOTAL WACKO, IMPLIES FATHER
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LISA LOVES MILHOUSE
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(The Red Dress Press)
FINAL 'I GIVE UP' EDITION
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(The Homer Times)
MY DAUGHTER, THE HERO
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(The Lenny Saver)
THE TRUTH ABOUT CARL:
He's Great!
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(Twin Spin)
ARE YOU A PATTY OR A SELMA?
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(Other newspapers created by townspeople were "The Barney Bugle" and "The Willy World News")

Season 16

All's Fair in Oven War

FATHER OF EIGHT MISSING
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(The New Delhi Daily)
STEVE BARNES OPENS CONVENIENCE STORE
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Pranksta Rap

WIGGUM SLEEPS THROUGH RIOT
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TOP COP SURRENDERS TO BACKFIRING CAR
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FIREMEN RESCUE POLICE CHIEF FROM TREE
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COMMISSION: WIGGUM SUCKS
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HAIL DROUGHT CONTINUES
Tin Roofs Undented
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WIGGUM RESCUES BOY
NO, REALLY
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