Click here to see 6-10 of my favorite Homer episodes.
This fantastic episode contains one of my favorite parts in Simpson history, so it immediately gets into my top 5. It's the part where Homer's account of what happened is spliced, and taken out of order by "Rock Bottom," a hard hitting news show. What happens to get Homer on Rock Bottom is that while Homer and Marge go to a candy convention, they get a babysitter to watch the kids, and while Homer drives the babysitter home, he notices a piece of his favorite candy stuck to her butt, so he takes it. The babysitter takes this as harassment. Eventually, the charges are dropped. The best parts are the aforementioned Rock Bottom scene, the entire candy convention, and when the media are stalking Homer.
Homer: Hurry, Marge! If we get there early we can get our pictures
taken with the two surviving Musketeers!
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Man: Hey, sir! Try our wax lips: the candy of 1000 uses.
Homer: [skeptical] Like what?
Man: One, a humorous substitute for your own lips.
Homer: Mm hmm, keep going.
Man: Two, er...ooh, I'm needed in the basement!
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Homer:Hey: could you take the wheel for a
second? I have to scratch myself in two places at once.
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Homer: Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was
sitting on [splice] her sweet [splice] can. [splice] -- o I grab
her -- [splice] sweet can. [splice] Oh, just thinking about
[splice] her [splice] can [splice] I just wish I had he --
[splice] sweet [splice] sweet [splice] s-s-sweet [splice] can.
Jones: So, Mr. Simpson: you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have
to say in your defense?
Homer: [looking lustful in a clearly-paused VCR shot]
Jones: Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further.
[paused shot of Homer grows larger]
No, Mr. Simpson, don't take your anger out on me. Get back! Get
back! Mist -- Mr. Simpson -- nooo!
Man: [quickly] Dramatization -- may not have happened.
| 4. Homer the Clown, #2F12 |
I absolutely love this episode. Although the premise is weird, I don't care as long as I laugh. Homer suddenly gets an urge to become a clown from a billboard, so he soon goes to Klown Kollege, run by Krusty. Homer chooses to look as much like Krusty as he can when he's a clown unfortuantely, because Krusty's currently in trouble with the mob over unpaid bet money. Eventually, Krusty pays them back the grand sum...48 dollars. The best parts are the billboard scene, and the final scene with the mob.
Homer: That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm
going to clown college! [leaves]
Bart: I don't think any of us expected him to say that.
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[everyone lines up to get their diploma]
[Krusty hands out the first one]
[he shakes the man's hand and shocks him with a joy buzzer]
Man: [walking up] This is the happiest day of my li -- ow!
Krusty: Heh heh.
Homer: [grabs his diploma] Got it! No shock for me, hee hee! [runs
off]
Krusty: Oh yeah?
[Krusty pounces on him and shocks him repeatedly]
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Child: It's the Krusty Burglar!
Homer: Ohmigod! He's stealing all the burglars! Why you little --
[jumps Krusty Burglar, starts pummeling him]
Emcee: Oh, Homer, it -- it's all -- it -- it's all j -- jus -- just
an act!
Child: [crying] Stop! Stop, he's already dead.
[two men drag Homer off]
Emcee: Er, Krusty the Klown, everybody!
[a few children clap; the rest are too horrified]
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Homer: [folding a balloon incompetently] And then, take that...and...
put that in there, and you...ah! There's your giraffe, little
girl.
Ralph: I'm a boy!
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.
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Homer: [suspicious] Hey, what are all these holes?
Salesman: [quickly] These are speed holes. They make the car go
faster.
| 3. Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment, #4F15 |
In this hilarious episode, it's found out that Springfield has had prohibition in effect since the early 1700's. Finding this out, prohibition is put immediately into effect. Soon, Homer starts shipping beer to Moe's speakeasy, until he gets caught. It's then found out that the prohibition law was repealed a year after it was ratified. Some of the best parts are the entire first act, and the car chase.
Homer: Oh, honey, you're not the world's worst mother. What about
that freezer lady in Georgia?
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Bart: Dad! Knocking over gravestones is bad luck!
Homer: Really? I heard good.
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Marge: Why do you have so many bowling balls?
Homer: Ah, I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge. So long.
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Marge: What on Earth happened down there??
Bart: One of the stills b...
[Homer puts his hand over Bart's mouth]
Homer: Nothing, Marge. I think it must have been that bean I had
for dinner.
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Homer:To alcohol! The cause of AND solution to all of life's problems.
| 2. Homer the Great, #2F09 |
This great episode is about a humongous secret society (The Stonecutters) that Homer finds out about, and how he finally accepted....only to be banished. At which point it's found out that he's the chosen one that the Stonecutters have been looking for. Homer soon starts doing good things with his power...but the other 'Cutters don't like it, so they leave, and start another club: No Homers Club. The best parts are the song, which I'll put below, the initiation, and when Homer stalks Lenny and Carl.
Homer: So anyway, Lenny and Carl are never around on Wednesdays and they
don't tell me where they go. It's like a conspiracy.
Bart: A conspiracy, eh? You think they might be involved in the
Kennedy assassination in some way?
Homer: I do...now. Anyway, I'm going to follow them tonight and see
where they go.
Marge: Oh, Homer, don't start stalking people again. It's so _illegal_.
Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you
thought he dug up your garden?
Homer: Well, something did!
Marge: I don't want you stalking anyone tonight.
Homer: Oh, OK, have it your own way, Marge. I'll be back in a minute
[gets up]: I'm...[sly] going outside. To..._stalk_...Lenny and
Carl. [realizes] D'oh!
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Number One: All Stonecutters must take the Leap of Faith. If you
survive this five-story plunge, your character will be
proven.
[Homer whimpers]
Moe: Happy landings! [pushes him]
[Homer falls two feet onto the floor; everyone laughs]
[the floor collapses and Homer falls through with a yell
and a crash -- five times consecutively]
Homer: [from the bottom] I think I have to do it again. My
blindfold came off.
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Everyone: Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do.
Who leaves the Atlantis off the maps? [shot of Carl]
Who keeps the Martians under wraps? [shot of Lenny]
We do! We do. [shot of Martian]
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? [shot of Steve]
We do! We do.
Who robs cave fish of their sight? [shot of Skinner]
Who rigs every Oscar night? [shot of Homer]
We do! We do.
| 1. King-Sized Homer, #3F05 |
Homer finds out that people can work at home on disbility...so, naturally, Homer tries to achieve this, and finally does when he finds out about hyper obesity, and how if you weigh 300 lbs, you can work at home. You can guess what comes next. He manages to get up the minimum weight, and starts working at home. Unfortunately, he manages to start a chain reaction which will end up in radiation leaking. He averts the catastrophe when his large butt plugs up the hole which the gas would've gone through. The best parts are when Homer's gaining weight, when he's trying to get to the plant, and when he's trying to get hurt.
Homer: "Carpal tunnel syndrome"...no.
"Lumber lung"...no.
"Juggler's despair"...no.
"Achy breaky pelvis"...no. Oh, I'm never going to be disabled!
I'm sick of being so healthy.
Hey, wait...hyper-obesity! "If you weigh more than 300 pounds,
you qualify as disabled."
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Homer: I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a
muumuu.
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Homer: [reading screen] "To Start Press Any Key". Where's the ANY key?
I see Esk ["ESC"], Catarl ["CTRL"], and Pig-Up ["PGUP"]. There
doesn't seem to be any ANY key. Woo! All this computer hacking
is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB. [presses TAB
key] Awp...no time for that now, the computer's starting.
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Homer: Free sample of fabric softener"...woo
hoo!
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Homer: Shame on all of you. Give me my dignity! I just came here to
see "Honk If You're Horny" in peace.
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Homer: Fat, don't fail me
now!
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Homer: [quickly] Hey, buddy, you gotta slow your car down and let me
in, because I'm a big fat guy and I can't go anywhere! Because
there could be some poison gas, I I mean there's really going to
be poison gas, and everybody's going to be dead, Especially me!
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Ralph: I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the
restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.
Lisa: Hey, my dad may have gained a little weight, but he's not some
kind of food-crazed maniac.
Homer: [driving past the bus, stuffing his face] Oh, that's raspberry!
Click here to see 6-10 of my favorite Homer episodes.
Thanks to the Simpsons Archive for the quotes.
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