Click here to see my top five favorite Homer episodes.
| 10. You Only Move Twice, #3F23 |
This hilarious episode is about when Homer is offered a job at Cypress Creek, where he finds life great, but his family doesn't. Some of the better Homer parts are when Homer confesses his dream to own the Dallas Cowboys, when Homer recieves the Broncos as a gift, and when Homer's motivating his workers.
TV: "Cypress Creek: The Tale of One City".
Homer: Uh, let's watch something else.
Marge: Homer, you're trying to talk us into moving to this place.
Homer: Oh, yeah, that's right. Let's watch this.
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Marge: You took a new job in a strange town without discussing it with
your family?
Homer: Of course not. I wouldn't do that! [pause] Why not?
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Ned: Uh, huh-huh... Homer, ah... About those things you borrowed from
me over the years, you know, the TV trays, the power sander, the
downstairs bathtub... You gonna be... needing those things in
Cypress Creek?
Homer: Yes.
Ned: Oh. Uh...
Homer: [reciting] Okily dokily...
Ned: Okily dokily!
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Homer: I'm gonna miss Springfield. This town's been awfully good to us.
Bart: No, it hasn't, Dad. That's why we're leaving.
Homer: Oh, yeah. [pokes his head out the window] So long, Stinktown!
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Hank: Your job will be to manage and motivate them. Give 'em the
benefit of your years of experience.
Homer: Don't worry, that won't take long.
| 9. The Cartridge Family, #5F01 |
I really love this episode, especially when they make fun of soccer, anyway, it's about when a soccer riot ensues, at which point Homer purchases a gun, for safety. Marge however, doesn't like it so she gives Homer an ultimatum, lose the gun, or lose your family. Homer chooses the gun.....only temporarily; he soon rectifies his mistake and gets rid of the gun. Some of the better Homer parts are him at the NRA Party, when he confronts Snake, and the whole part about getting a gun.
Gun Shop Owner: Woah, careful there, Annie Oakley. [takes gun]
Homer: I don't have to be careful. I got a gun.
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Homer: Now, I believe you have some sort of firearm for me.
Gun Shop Owner: Well, let's see here. According to your background check,
you've been in a mental institution...
Homer: Yeah.
Gun Shop Owner: ...frequent problems with alcohol...
Homer: [laughs nervously] Yeah.
Gun Shop Owner: ...beat up President Bush!
Homer: Former President Bush.
[The owner slaps a red rubber stamper on Homer's printout.]
Homer: "Potentially dangerous"?!
Gun Shop Owner: Relax, that just limits you to three handguns or less.
Homer: Woo hoo!
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Homer: Ooh, the gun club's gonna be here any minute! [the doorbell rings]
Oh! [gasps] They're here. They're here!
Moe: [at door] Hiya, Homer. I brung ya a big bag of irregular Oreos.
[dumps them out onto tray, selects one] I don't see what's wrong
with this one. [eats it] Oh.
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Homer: Oh, honey, please come home. I need you! It's dark in the house
and I'm hungry and lonesome and there's no one there to hear my
various witty remarks!
| 8. The Springfield Files, #3G01 |
This is a fan-favorite. This wacky episode contains much hilarity, and even though the plot is a bit...far out, they somehow make it believable. This episodes about how Homer sees an alien one night, and how he gets the town to believe him, only to find out that the alien was a radioactive Burns. The best parts are the entire first act. When Homer's talking to Chief Wiggum about the alien, and when Mulder and Scully are examinging him.
Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city,
keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus
would explode! I think it was called... "The bus that couldn't slow
down."
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Homer: Hmm... Bold, refreshing, and something I can't quite put my
finger on.
[at the Red Tick Beer brewery, dogs are swimming in the tank]
Man: [takes a sip] Hmm... Needs more dog.
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Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice... like Urkel! And he
appears every Friday night... like Urkel!
Wiggum: Well, your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean, uh,
Simpson. So, I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
[Wiggum raises his arms and starts typing on air in sarcasm]
[starts humming]
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Scully: Now, we're going to run a few tests. This is a simple lie
detector. I'll ask you a few yes or no questions and you just
answer truthfully. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes.
[the polygraph explodes]
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Homer:You are one fine looking woman, lady. If I wasn't married, I'd go out
with you like that!
[hits his bottle on the bar; beer bubbles and spills out the bottle]
I am so sorry! Whatever you do, don't tell Marge! God, I love her!
I... hey! A penny!
[leaps into the floor]
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Hibbert: Is the alien carbon-based, or silicone-based?
Homer: Uhhh... the second one. Zillifone. Next question?
Barney: [drunk] Is the alien Santa Claus?
Homer: Uh... yes!
Ned: Uh, where you on my roof last night stealing my weather vane?
Homer: This interview is over! [goes in, slams the door]
[said weather vane falls on the "Welcome" mat]
| 7. Homer Goes to College, #1F02 |
This great episode isn't well-recognized by most fans. I don't care what they think, I love it. This episode is about how Homer has to go back to college to take a course in order to keep his job. Some of the best parts include the sequence with Homer in the truck, Homer at college, and any part with Homer and the nerds.
Burns: The watchdog of public safety...is there any lower form of
life?
Smithers: Don't worry sir, I rounded up our less gifted employees and
led them into the basement.
[Shot of the basement with Homer and two other guys]
Bernie: Duh, Homer, why are we down here?
Homer: Aw, geez. I told you, Bernie: to guard the bee!
Man: [whining] But why?
Homer: Aw, you guys are pathetic. No wonder Smithers made me head
bee-guy.
[Homer kicks the jar accidentally, smashing it, and the bee
escapes]
Bernie: Duh, he's gettin' away.
Man: Oh, we did bad!
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Agent 2: Homer, this is an exact replica of your work station.
Homer: [moans]
Agent 2: Now we're going to simulate a power surge in core sector eight.
Homer: What the hell are you talking about?
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Homer: [writing] "...It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my
life forever."
Bart: You the man, Homer!
Homer: Thanks, boy!
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Bart: Well, Pop, what are you going to do?
Homer: [resolutely] Something I should have done a _long_ time ago.
[long pause]
Marge: You don't know, do you?
Homer: [meekly] No, ma'am.
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Homer: Woo-hoo! I'm a college man! I won't need my high school diploma
any more! [sets fire to it and starts singing]
I am so smart!
I am so smart!
I am so smart!
I am so smart!
S-M-R-T!
I mean, S-M-A-R-T...
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Homer: [yelling at a student] Neeeerd!
Marge: Homer, that isn't very nice.
Homer: Marge, try to understand. There are two kinds of college
students: jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give
nerds a hard time.
[A "jock" walks by]
Hey pal! Did you get a load of the nerd?
Jock: [not understanding] Pardon me?
| 6. Deep Space Homer, #1F13 |
OH MAN this is a fantastic episode. It's where NASA finds out that their ratings are plumetting, so they decide to send an average Joe into space, and after a contest with Barney over the spot, Homer recieves the priveliges. Some of the best parts include the entire training sequence, and the whole Carbon Rod thing.
Homer: Stupid carbon rod. It's all just a popularity contest!
Bart: Wow! Did you actually get to _see_ the rod?
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Homer: Hello, is this President Clinton? Good! I figured if anyone
knew where to get some Tang, it'd be you. ...Shut up!
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Homer: I'll field this one. The only danger is if they send us to
[ominous] that terrible Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute...
Statue of Liberty...that was _our_ planet! You maniacs! You
blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell! [weeps]
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Buzz Aldrin: So Barney, we hear you're kickin' ass.
Homer: [contemptuous] I, er, don't think this contest is over yet,
"Buzz"...if that _is_ your real name. I believe there is
still a little something called "The Swimsuit Competition".
Scientist: There's no swimsuit competition, Homer.
Homer: [voice rising] You mean I shaved my bikini zone for nothing?!
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Scientist: [resigned] Well, Homer, I guess you're the winner by default.
Homer: Default? Woo hoo! The two sweetest words in the English
language: de-fault! De-fault! De-fault!
Click here to see my top five favorite Homer episodes.
Thanks to the Simpsons Archive for the quotes.
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