Inspired by the most logical race in the galaxy, The Vulcans, breeding will be permitted once every seven years. For many of you, this will mean much less breeding. For me, much much more.— CBG
Lisa: Dad, do you know what Schadenfreude is?
Homer: (sarcastically) No, I do not know what Schadenfreude is. Please tell me, because I'm dying to know!
Lisa: It's a German term for 'shameful joy', taking pleasure in the suffering of others.
Homer: Oh, come on Lisa. I'm just glad to see him fall flat on his butt!
Marge: Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.
Ned: See anything you like?
Homer: Oh, I get it! It's not good enough for you, but it's good enough for me! Well, I wouldn't be caught dead buying this... (sees something) hello!
Homer: Hey, Bartlee-boobly, care for a steak-a-rooney?
Bart: Sounds crumptly-uptious, dear old duddly-doodly!
Homer: See Marge, you knock TV and then it helps you out. I think you owe someone an apology.
Akira: We learn karate, so that we need never use it.
Bart: Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchucks?
Bart: Yo, sensei. Can I go to the bathroom?
Akira: You can if you believe you can.
Man: Hey, I hear you validate parking tickets without purchase.
Ned: Oh, right as rain! Or, as we say around here, `left as rain', heh heh.
Man: Just stamp the ticket.
Ned: At times like these, I used to turn to the Bible and find solace, but even the Good Book can't help me now.
Homer: Why not?
Ned: I sold it to you for seven cents.
Homer: It's all here, and it's all backwards!