Aw, Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re an old man now, and old people are useless.— Homer
Bart: Did you guys hear something moving around in the attic last night?
Homer: Attic? Oh, that's silly. Seriously though, don't ever go up there.
Dr. Hibbert: But what to do with poor Hugo? Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town. The child was an outcast. So, we did the only humane thing.
Homer: We chained Hugo up in the attic like an animal and fed him a bucket of fish heads once a week.
Marge: It saved our marriage!
Bart: You're crazy!
Hugo: Am I? Well, perhaps we're all a little crazy. I know I am. I went mad after they tore us apart, but I'll be sane... once I sew us back together.
Bart: But you'll kill both of us.
Hugo: No, it's easy. Look, I've been practicing: I made a pigeon-rat.
Lisa: Oh my God! I've created life!
Marge: (from downstairs) Lisa, breakfast! We're having waffles!
Lisa: Ooh, waffles.
Bart: Your micro-jerks attacked me!
Lisa: Well, you practically destroyed their whole world.
Bart: You can't protect them every second. Sooner or later, you'll let your guard down, and then flush: it's toilet time for Tinytown.
Leader: Welcome to our world, most gracious Lisa.
Lisa: Your world is incredible. And you speak English.
Leader: We have listened to you speak since the dawn of time, O Creator. And we have learned to imitoot you exarktly.
Homer: Oh my God, space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!
Homer: Oh no! Aliens, bioduplication, nude conspiracies. Oh my God, Lyndon LaRouche was right!
Advisor: Uh, Mr. President, Sir. People are becoming a bit... confused by the way your and your opponent are, well, constantly holding hands.
Kang: We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.
Kodos: We must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!
Marge: I don't understand why we have to build a ray gun to aim at a planet I never even heard of.
Homer: Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.
Kent Brockman: Senator Dole, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton?
Kang: It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED!
Kent Brockman: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole.
Homer: We'll have to look everywhere a sick, twisted, solitery misfit might go.
Lisa: I'll start with radio shack.
Homer (to Bart): Bart, you stay here and tape the hockey game.
Lisa: Science has already proved the dangers of smoking and alcohol but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!
Little Frink: It worked! The de-bigulator worked!