Inspired by the most logical race in the galaxy, The Vulcans, breeding will be permitted once every seven years. For many of you, this will mean much less breeding. For me, much much more.— CBG
Bart: Did you guys hear something moving around in the attic last night?
Homer: Attic? Oh, that's silly. Seriously though, don't ever go up there.
Dr. Hibbert: But what to do with poor Hugo? Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town. The child was an outcast. So, we did the only humane thing.
Homer: We chained Hugo up in the attic like an animal and fed him a bucket of fish heads once a week.
Marge: It saved our marriage!
Bart: You're crazy!
Hugo: Am I? Well, perhaps we're all a little crazy. I know I am. I went mad after they tore us apart, but I'll be sane... once I sew us back together.
Bart: But you'll kill both of us.
Hugo: No, it's easy. Look, I've been practicing: I made a pigeon-rat.
Lisa: Oh my God! I've created life!
Marge: (from downstairs) Lisa, breakfast! We're having waffles!
Lisa: Ooh, waffles.
Bart: Your micro-jerks attacked me!
Lisa: Well, you practically destroyed their whole world.
Bart: You can't protect them every second. Sooner or later, you'll let your guard down, and then flush: it's toilet time for Tinytown.
Leader: Welcome to our world, most gracious Lisa.
Lisa: Your world is incredible. And you speak English.
Leader: We have listened to you speak since the dawn of time, O Creator. And we have learned to imitoot you exarktly.
Homer: Oh my God, space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!
Homer: Oh no! Aliens, bioduplication, nude conspiracies. Oh my God, Lyndon LaRouche was right!
Advisor: Uh, Mr. President, Sir. People are becoming a bit... confused by the way your and your opponent are, well, constantly holding hands.
Kang: We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.
Kodos: We must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!
Marge: I don't understand why we have to build a ray gun to aim at a planet I never even heard of.
Homer: Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.
Kent Brockman: Senator Dole, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton?
Kang: It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED!
Kent Brockman: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole.
Homer: We'll have to look everywhere a sick, twisted, solitery misfit might go.
Lisa: I'll start with radio shack.
Homer (to Bart): Bart, you stay here and tape the hockey game.
Lisa: Science has already proved the dangers of smoking and alcohol but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!
Little Frink: It worked! The de-bigulator worked!