If a gun can protect something as important as a bar, then it’s good enough to protect my family.— Homer
Bart: Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket!
Milhouse: It cost me 50,000 Bazooka Joe comics!
Homer: Now just meet me back here after the show.
Bart: Thanks, Dad. Sure you're not going to be bored?
Homer: Boy, some of the best times I've ever had were in the back seat of a car! Heh heh... (He imagines himself eating food in the back of a car...)
Kent Brockman: Of course, it would be wrong to suggest this sort of mayhem began with rock-and-roll. After all, there were riots at the premiere of Mozart's "The Magic Flute." So, what's the answer? Ban all music? In this reporters opinion, the answer, sadly, is 'yes'.
Homer: Now, boy, we spent a lot of money, so you'd better get real good real fast, or POW!
Homer: Hey, I thought I was supposed to encourage him.
Martin: Although I'm sure I will receive a severe wedgie from my bus-mates, I must remind you that we should have been at school ten minutes ago.
Otto: Uh oh, better fasten your seatbelts little dudes.
Lisa: We don't have seatbelts.
Otto: Uh, well, then just try to go limp.
Skinner: It's a miracle nobody was hurt.
Otto: I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality.
Otto: Can I at least get my stuff?
Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old cycle magazines.
Otto: Wow! I have mustard?
Bart: Mom, I thought you might forget our little conversation this afternoon, so I took the precaution of recoding it. (on tape) Mom, can Otto live in our garage for as long as he wants? (impression of Marge) He sure can!
Homer: Marge! What were you thinking?
Marge: That's not my voice!
Homer: Oh, everybody says that when they hear themselves on tape.
Homer: All right, he can stay. But I get to treat him like garbage.
Otto: Wow! What's the catch?
Homer: Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!