If a gun can protect something as important as a bar, then it’s good enough to protect my family.— Homer
Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
Homer: Out of my way, jerkass!
Lisa: Watch yourself, Dad - you're the highly suggestible type.
Homer: Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.
Homer: Wait, I'm confused about the movie - so the cops knew that Internal Affairs were setting them up?
Homer: Oh, I have not been brainwashed...kill the girl... kill the girl...
Homer: Marge, when I join an underground cult I expect a little support from my family.
Sect member: You're family will be housed here for the first 100,000 years, then something might open up in a double.
Homer: Why even unpack?
Marge: When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over.
Mr. Burns: You see me as a god, Smithers?
Smithers: Absolutely, sir.
Mr. Burns: You'd kneel before me?
Smithers: Boy, would I!
Homer: Marge, you're the leader? You don't look anything like the beans.
Homer: Look at those morons! I paid my taxes over a year ago!
Lisa: The government has no right to use you this way
Homer: Quiet honey, you don't know how big this government is - it goes all the way to the president!
Agent: Mr. Simpson, this government computer can process over nine tax returns per day. Did you really think you could fool it?
Homer: No sir, I'm really sorry sir, an older boy told me to do it.
Homer: No sir, please I can't go to prison. They pee in a cup and throw it on you. I saw it in a movie.
Agent: You won't be seeing any prison movies where you're going - prison!
Homer: If I don't hear you, it's not illegal!
Lenny: I've always wondered what it would feel like to wear something that's been ironed.
Homer: Any of you involved in any illegal activity? 'Cause I could sure go for some!
Agent: Let's take a walk.
Homer: Walk? That wasn't part of the deal...
Narrator: This film will self-destruct...if not stored properly.
Homer: (looking at the trillion dollar bill) Wow, that must be worth a fortune.
Mr. Burns: (to Castro) Look with your eyes, not with your hands.
Homer: Mr. Burns, I think we can trust the President of Cuba!
Movmentarian: Would you rather have beer, or eternal happiness?
Homer: (pause) What kind of beer?