Inspired by the most logical race in the galaxy, The Vulcans, breeding will be permitted once every seven years. For many of you, this will mean much less breeding. For me, much much more.— CBG
Bart: Hey, Lis! Check out this space-age toothbrush.
Lisa: That's an electric nostril groomer.
Comic Book Guy: I would like to return your quote-unquote Ultimate Belt.
Sarcastic Clerk: I see. Do you have a receipt, quote-unquote, sir?
Comic Book Guy: No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at the Star Trek Convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no use for a medium sized belt.
Sarcastic Clerk: Whoa, whoa! A fat, sarcastic, Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies.
Comic Book Guy: I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them.
Jimbo: Hey Simpson, wanna trade belts?
Bart: Well, not really, 'cause yours is just a piece of extension cord.
Kearney: Hey, dude, he's ragging on your cord.
Bart: (beat up) Hey, dad.
Homer: Looking good, son. Hey! What happened to your belt?
Homer: Son, there's only one thing punks like that understand: squealing. You've got to squeal to every teacher and every grown-up you can find. Coming to me was a good start.
Moe: They called me Kid Gorgeous. Later on, it was Kid Presentable. Then Kid Gruesome. And finally, Kid Moe.
Homer: You know Lucius Sweet?! He's one of the biggest names in boxing! He's exactly as rich and as famous as Don King, and he looks just like him, too!
Marge: Homer, of all the crazy ideas you've had... this one ranks somewhere in the middle.
Dr. Hibbert: You have an absolutely unique genetic condition known as "Homer Simpson" syndrome.
Homer: Oh, why me?
Lucius: Your boy looks a little soft, Moe. You do remember our arrangement?
Moe: Yeah, don't worry, you'll get your three rounds.
Lucius: Stupendous. Because if he goes down before that bell rings, your future's going with him.
Moe: Okey-doke. Future's down the crapper. Gotcha.
Moe: Back when I was Gorgeous everybody wanted a piece of me. But somehow I just never made it to the big time.
Homer: Why not?
Moe: I got knocked out forty times in a row Thhat plus politics, it's all politics.
Homer: Lousy Democrats.