Eh, just get one of those inflatable women. But make sure it’s a woman though, ’cause one time I... uh...— Wiggum
Bart: Warm... cold... no, colder... ice cold!
Homer: What? Do you know where my keys are?
Bart: No, I'm talking about your breakfast.
Lisa: I'm wailing out for the homeless family living out of its car. The Iowa farmer, whose land has been taken away by unfeeling bureaucrats. The West Virginia coal miner, coughing up his--
Mr. Largo: Well, that's all fine and good, but Lisa, none of those unpleasant people are going to be at the recital next week.
Bart: ...and, in the lavender trunks, with a record of zero wins and forty eight defeats - correction: humiliating defeats - all of them by knock out--
Homer: Must you do this every time?
Bart: I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything.
Homer: I have feelings too. You know, like "My stomach hurts!" or "I'm going crazy!".
Lisa: I'm just wondering what's the point? Would it make any difference if I never existed? How can we sleep at night when there's so much suffering in the world?
Homer: Uh... well... Come on Lisa, ride the Homer-horsie! Giddy up!
Homer: The saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my dad at most things. And Bart experienced that at the age of four.
Bleeding Gums Murphy: You know, you play pretty well for someone with no real problems.
Lisa: Yeah, well I don't feel any better.
Bleeding Gums Murphy: The blues isn't about making yourself feel better, it's about making other people feel worse. And makin' a few bucks while you're at it.
No parodies have been added for this episode yet.