My story begins back in nineteen-dickity-two. We had to say ‘dickity’ cause the kaiser had stolen our word ‘twenty’. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickity-six miles.— Grampa
Ralph: Umm, Miss Hoover?
Hoover: Yes Ralph, what is it?
Ralph: My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it...can I have another one?
Hoover: No Ralph, there aren't any more... just try to sleep while the other children are learning.
Ralph: Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!
Mr. Burns: You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage...when pigs fly! (they laugh, then the pig sails across the sky before them).
Smithers : Will you be donating that million dollars now, Sir?
Mr. Burns: No, I'd still prefer not.
Lisa: (reading invite) Come to Homer's B.B.B.Q. The extra B is for B.Y.O.B.B.
Bart: What's that extra B for?
Homer: Thats a typo.
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