Ehh, they think they’re so high and mighty. Just because they never got caught driving without pants.— Moe
Marge: Homey, you know, it's funny. Both my mother and your father seem pretty lonely.
Homer: (chuckling) That is funny.
Homer: Marge, please, old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Grampa: You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.
Roger Meyers: I'm proud to offer your viewers these hand-drawn Itchy and Scratchy animation cels. Each one is absolutely, positively, one hundred percent guaranteed to increase in value.
Voiceover: (very quickly) Not a guarantee.
Marge: He's an awful, awful, awful man! I guess if he makes Mom happy, that's all that really matters.
Homer: That's right, money. Your money's happiness is all that moneys.
Grampa: At least now I'll have more time to read stuff I find on the ground. (picking up something) La...tex...con...dome. Boy I'd like to live in one of those!
Mr. Burns: My darling, since my kneecaps are filling with fluid as we speak, I'll be brief. Will you marry me?
Bart: I'm going to keep the Mary Worth phone right here. Her stern but sensible face will remind me never to do anything so stupid again. (it rings and Bart answers it)
Milhouse: Hey Bart, you want to go play with that X-ray machine in the abandoned hospital?
Bart: Sure!
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