I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.— Homer
Homer: (readin a bedtime story to lisa) And then the handsome prince realised he had to go to the bathroom really bad. But the evil ogre, Barney, had left the mens room in the most wicked condition. So, the prince went out back to the enchanted alley--
Lisa: Thats not a fairy tale, its just something that happened to you at Moe's .
Homer: Shh shh shh... Anyway, the prince past out for a 100 years, until he was awakened by the kiss of a noble racoon.
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