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I Love Lisa

I Love Lisa

Rating: 4 (178 votes)


When Lisa gives Ralph Wiggum a Valentine's card out of pity, he instantly falls in love with her.

Memorable quotes

Grampa: Bah! This is just another Hallmark holiday cooked up to sell cars.
Jasper: Aw, a Valentine from my granddaughter.
Grampa: Could I have the envelope?

Ralph: I don't have a red crayon.
Ms. Hoover: Why not?
Ralph: I ate it.

Bart: Cool, I broke his brain.

Ralph: Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder.

Ralph: That Valentine sure was funny.
Lisa: Glad you liked it.
Ralph: It says "Choo-choo-choose me," and there's a picture of a train.

Ralph: So... do you... like... stuff?

Ralph: The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there.

Homer: Let me handle this Marge, I've heard 'em all: I like you as a friend; I think we should see other people; I no speak English...
Lisa: I get the idea.
Homer: ...I'm married to the sea; I don't want to kill you but I will...

Lisa: I'm not sure I should go - I don't even like him.
Bart: You're right, Lis, you shouldn't go. It wouldn't be honest. I'll go, disguised as you.
Lisa: What if he wants to hold hands?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if he wants a kiss?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if he--
Bart: You don't wanna know how far I'll go.

Homer: Your conscience? Lisa, don't let that pushy little weenie tell you what to do.
Homer's Conscience: Homer, that's a terrible thing to say.
Homer: Oh, shut up!
Homer's Conscience: Yes, sir.

Homer: You know, one day honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops!
Wiggum: They are? Oh no! Have they set a date?

Skinner: Good evening everyone, and welcome to an evening of theare and picking up after yourselves.

Ralph: It says "bee" and there's a picture of a bee on it!

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