I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.— Homer
Homer: Kids, how would you like to go... to Blockoland!
Bart and Lisa: Meh.
Homer: But the TV. gave the impression that--
Bart: We said, "meh".
Lisa: M-E-H. "Meh".
Marge: Squaresville sounds pretty cool.
Homer: Welcome to real life, Lisa. You can't fight City Hall... a.k.a. Blockoland. So don't even try.
Marge: What kind of a thing is that to tell your children?
Homer: That's always what I tell them. I told them that twice yesterday. And then again as they were going to sleep.
Homer: Why won't you go out with Bart?
Sherri: He's a smelly, ugly dork!
Homer: Oh, please. Ugly is such a smelly word.
Homer: The satisfaction of helping another human being is all the thanks I et cetera.
Homer: ...And I gave that man directions, even though I didn't know the way, 'cause that's the kind of guy I am this week.
Carl: Wait a minute. Duff owns the Springfield Isotopes? Since when?
Moe: They bought them a year ago from the Mafia. It was the last of the family-owned teams.
Homer: I don't mind being called a liar when I'm lying, or about to lie, or just finished lying. But not when I'm telling the truth!
Marge: Oh, Homie, you couldn't keep up a hunger strike. You eat while you brush your teeth. You're eating a big sausage right now!
Milhouse: What a great ball game. Thanks Weekend Dad.
Kirk: Stop calling me that!
Duffman: New feelings brewing in Duffman! What... would Jesus do?
Marge: It's been a whole week. Why are you letting my husband die? What does it have to do with baseball?
Executive 1: Death is a part of baseball.
Executive 2: Oh yeah, the main part.