When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle. They’re on TV!— Homer
Homer: And by the Sacred Parchment, I swear that if I reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters, may my stomach become bloated and my head be plucked of all but three hairs.
Moe: Uh, I think he should have to take a different oath.
Number One: And now the final ordeal: the paddling of the swollen ass...with paddles.
Homer: Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?
Lenny: While it has been established that eggs contain cholesterol, it has not yet been proven conclusively that they actually raise the level of serum cholesterol in the human blood stream.
Homer: So one of those Egg Council creeps got to you too, huh?
Lenny: Aw, you've got it all wrong, Homer. It's not like that. (indicates to someone off-screen - a man in an egg costume runs away)
Homer: You'd better run, egg!
Bart: A conspiracy, eh? You think they might be involved in the Kennedy assasination in some way?
Homer: I do...now.
Homer: Number One? What kind of stupid weiner name is that? (mimicing) "Hello, my name is Number One!" (tiring) ...and so forth.
No parodies have been added for this episode yet.