Of course, it would be wrong to suggest this sort of mayhem began with rock-and-roll. After all, there were riots at the premiere of Mozart’s The Magic Flute. So, what’s the answer? Ban all music? In this reporters opinion, the answer, sadly, is ‘yes’.— Brockman
Homer: Oh my God! someone's trying to kill me!! Oh, wait, it's for Bart.
Bart: Grampa, Matlock;s not real.
Grampa: Neither are my teeth, but I can still eat corn on the cob, if someone cuts it off and smushes it into a fine paste. Now that's good eatin'!
Milhouse: I checked around. The girls are calling you ''fatty-fat fat fat'', and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants, but...nobody's trying to kill you.
Wiggum: I'd like to help you ma'am, but, heh heh, I'm afraid there's no law against mailing threatening letters.
Parole officer: Uh, we object to the term "urine-soaked hell-hole" when you could have said, "peepee-soaked heck-hole".
Parole officer: No one who speaks German could be an evil man.
Bart: I'll be Gus, the lovable chimney-sweep. Clean as a whistle, sharp as a thistle, best in all Westminster.
Agent: Now, when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson," and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson! (presses on Homer's foot)
Homer: (whispers to other agent) I think he's talking to you.
Bart: Mom, Dad, I saw Sideshow Bob and he threatened to kill me!
Homer: Bart, don't interrupt!
Marge: Homer, this is serious!
Homer: Oh, it is not.
Bart: Take him away, boys.
Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief here! Bake 'em away, toys.
Lou: What'd you say, chief?
Wiggum: Do what the kid said.
Agent: We have some places your family can hide with peace and security: Cape Feare, Terror Lake, New Horrorfield, Screamville...
Homer: Ooo, Ice Creamville
Agent: Uh, No, Screamville.
Homer: Come on, let me cut you a brownie while they're still hot.