If a gun can protect something as important as a bar, then it’s good enough to protect my family.— Homer
Homer: Kids, kids: once you get hurt, move aside and let other people jump.
Snake: All right! I got me a bed.
Homer: Marge, I'm feeling a lot of shame right now.
Marge: I'm hearing that you feel a lot of shame.
Homer: And I feel that you hear my shame.
Marge: I'm feeling annoyance and frustration, but also tolerance.
Homer: I feel validated by that.
Brad Goodman: Let me hear what's troubling you. Don't be shy, yell it out. Everybody, go!
Quimby: I, er, can't commit to a relationship.
Mr. Burns: I'm too nice!
Apu: I have problems with--
Lenny: I'm always interrupting people!
Lisa: This is madness. He's just peddling a bunch of easy answers.
Carl: And how!
Bart: Lis, everyone in town is acting like me. So why does it suck?
Lisa: Simple, Bart: you've defined yourself as a rebel, and in the absence of a repressive milieu, your societal niche has been co-opted.
Bart: I see.
Lisa: This is your chance to develop a new and better identity. May I suggest "good-natured doormat"?
Bart: Sounds good, sis. Just tell me what to do.
Kent Brockman: A new mood is in the air in Springfield, as refreshing as a pre-moistened towlette. Folks are finally accepting their feelings and really communicating, with no holding back, and this reporter thinks it's about ****ing time.
Kent Brockman: Springfield will have its first annual "Do What You Feel" Festival this Saturday. Whenever you feel like throwing up, it'll be a welcome change from our annual "Do As We Say" Festival started by German settlers in 1946.
Skinner: Eat my shorts, young man!
Squeaky-Voiced Teen: Mister, I can't stand the sound of your voice!
Homer: Ooh! It's that new show about the policeman who solves crimes in his spare time!