If a gun can protect something as important as a bar, then it’s good enough to protect my family.— Homer
Homer: (in a go-kart) Look at me, Bart! I'm driving!
Bart: We're all proud of you, Dad.
Marge: That was no accident. Shame on you, Nelson Muntz!
Nelson: Cram it, ma'am.
Marge: Nelson's a troubled, lonely, sad little boy. He needs to be isolated from everyone.
Homer: Aw, I hate folding sheets.
Marge: That's your underwear.
Homer: Well, whatever it is, it's a two-man job. Where's Bart?
Marge: He's up in his room. (calls upstairs) Bart!
Homer: It's okay, Marge, I'll get him. BART!!!
Homer: (leaning out window and yelling) MILHOUSE!!
Milhouse: (from a distance) WHAT?!!
Homer: TELL BART TO COME HOME!!
Milhouse: I THINK HE'S AT NELSON'S!!
Homer: WHO'S NELSON?!!
Marge: And punish Lisa for lying to us.
Homer: Alright young lady, I want you to march yourself directly to the Kwik-E-Mart and get me some chips and a beer!
Homer: Oh man, this is the most exiting thing I've ever seen since Hailey's comet collided with the moon.
Skinner: It's already wiped out the Dodo, the Cuckoo, and the Ne-Ne, and it has nasty plans for the Booby, the Titmouse, the Woodcock, and the Titpecker.
Mr. Burns: Look, Skinner, we haven't got all day. Kill the horrid beasts... and do away with their lizards.
Skinner: (looking at his watch) Okay, that's exactly one moment-- (gasps) Oh my God, he's getting away!
Lisa: Wow, did you know they had those webbed flaps for gliding?
Skinner: Yes. But I was hoping they didn't know that.
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
Homer: (stretching) Oh man, it feels good to get out of that car. Ooh go karts! Come on everybody, let's go!