After a soccer riot escalates into a citywide orgy of destruction, Homer purchases a handgun to protect his family, much to Marge's disgust.
When a soccer match ends in a city-wide riot, Homer buys a handgun to protect his family and joins the NRA. However, Marge does not like this and pleads with Homer to get rid of the gun. Homer promises to do so, but Bart finds it the next day in the vegetable crisper.
Fearing for their lives, Marge whisks herself and the kids away to a seedy motel. Homer hosts the next NRA meeting, but shocks the other members when he reveals that he uses his gun as a can opener, and to turn on the TV. He is kicked out of the society.
Homer turns up at the motel to apologize to Marge, but when Mayor Quimby is taken hostage, he produces the gun again and saves the day. Marge is annoyed that Homer lied to her, and so Homer asks Marge to get rid of the gun for him.
Kent Brockman: ...So, for the next several years, it's every man for himself. (Snake walks out of Flander's house with his TV)
Ned: Sir, I think you've got my TV! Sir!?
Security guy: But surely you can't put a price on your family's lives!
Homer: I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are.
Homer: A gun is not a weapon, Marge, it's a tool. Like a butcher knife or a harpoon, or... or an alligator.
Homer: But Marge, I swear to you - I never thought you'd find out!
Homer: I hid it in a safe place, Marge - I mean, what are the odds the boy would look in the vegetable crisper?
Moe: It could have been a real ugly situation, but luckily I managed to shoot him in the spine.
Homer: If a gun can protect something as important as a bar, then it's good enough to protect my family.
Marge: I'm a lucky woman.
Homer: And I'm a wonderful man.
Moe: And that's how, with a few minor adjustments, you can turn a regular gun into five guns.
Cletus: Are you some kind of moron?
Homer: Yeah, but--
Homer: I felt an incredible surge of power, like God must feel when he's holding a gun.
Marge: Homer, I told you this morning, no guns at the dinner table!
Homer: You said the breakfast table.
Marge: It's the same table!
No parodies have been added for this episode yet.
PCode
5F01
Index
9×5
Written by
John Swartzwelder
Directed by
Pete Michels
Starring
Dan Castellaneta
Julie Kavner
Nancy Cartwright
Yeardley Smith
Hank Azaria
Harry Shearer
Also Starring
Pamela Hayden
Tress MacNeille
Aired (U.S.)
Oct 09, 1994
Aired (U.K.)
Oct 26, 2001