This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.— Wiggum
Identity: Burns' lackey.
Age: In his early forties.
Occupation: Mr. Burns' assistant at the power plant.
Duties: Answering the phone, squeezing juice for him every morning, preparing his tax returns, moistening his eyeballs, assisting with chewing and swallowing, removing his dead skin, lying to congress, some light typing, and a ton of other stuff (a total of 2800).
Collects: Malibu Stacey dolls, and has the largest collection in Springfield.
Screensaver: A naked Mr. Burns, saying: "Hello, Smithers, you're quite good at turning me on."
Sexuality: One of the most frequently discussed topics on internet forums. See my page listing the gay references in the show.
"Well, that's the end of the girls' floor
exercises, now let's bring on the men!"