Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya.— Burns
Name: Moe Szyslak
Identity: The surly, two-faced owner of Moe's tavern.
Also known as: Uncle Moe, Mr. Moe, "Unkie Moe,"
the tough kid-"Smelly" (on "The Little Rascals"), Kid
Gorgeous, Kid Presentable, Kid gruesome, and finally Kid Moe
Occupation: Owner of Moe's Tavern.
Regular customers: Homer, Barney, Larry, Sam, Lenny and Carl.
Catchphrase: Something along the lines of: "When I get a-hold of you..." when Bart does prank phone calls.
Friends: Homer, and all the other bar flies.
Enemies: The kid who keeps making prank phone calls to him (Bart Simpson).
Financial status: Debatable. Recently won $500,000 on "Me Wantee" [CABF10], however, owes plenty of money: he was '64 grand in the hole' in 2F05, and Barney had a beer tab of $14 billion (Moe would have to have paid for these originally, so he is out of pocket) [3F18].
"I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. Not that fancy, store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that."
Previous jobs: Selling Flaming Moe's [8F08], teacher of 'Funk dancing for Self-defense' at the Adult Education Annex [1F20].
Appearances: Several episodes. Was a member of the bowling team 'The Pin Pals', once turned the bar into 'Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag', and has had plastic surgery on his face.