I used to be with it, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’, and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary to me. It’ll happen to you!— Grampa
Name: Jeff Albertson.
Referred to as: Comic Book Guy
Identity: Overweight, sarcastic comic store owner stuffed into a T-shirt 3 sizes too small.
Age: 45 (he is a virgin and still lives with his mother)
Occupation: Purveyor of comic collectables and memorabilia.
Education: Master's degree in folklore and mythology.
Friends: None. Once dated Agnes Skinner.
Loves: Collecting comics, eating burritos by the wheelbarrow-full.
Hates: Getting off his stool for anything other than a cash transaction.
Items for sale in his shop:
"No banging your head on the display cabinet please. It contains a rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide, thank you."